You are viewing all posts from:
Sarah Z. Wexler
Posted in:
May 7, 2008 12:00 AM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
Romany Malco, with the tough-guy cut arms and the shiny, meticulously maintained head (he shaves it daily), plays a drug dealer on Weeds and a cheatin’ babehound in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. He must be a badass in real life, right?
Try lovesick. Affianced. Totally ga-ga. “Having a significant other and potentially having your own family is much more exciting than 'What’s the next movie I’m gonna do?’” Malco says of his recent engagement. He proposed to his girlfriend, Taryn Dakha, last New Year’s so he could “start every year off celebrating something that matters to my soul.” Awww.
The couple met on the set of this month’s Mike Myers-with-a-mustache flick, The Love Guru, where Malco plays a hockey star who’s forced to see Myers’s wacky love doctor when his relationship troubles affect his game; Dakha, a pro skater, was costar Jessica Alba’s stunt double (yes, her body is . . . Alba-ish). Malco, who’d never laced up skates before the film’s daily 12-hour practices, now hits the ice twice a week.
Other than a love of hockey, what else developed? “A small crush on Justin Timberlake,” Malco confesses. (Timberlake plays a rival goalie.) Then there was Dakha. The couple’s first date was at the rink, “just like in The Cutting Edge,” he says. Um, the guy who made the Virgin line “You’re puttin’ the pussy on a pedestal” a catchphrase has seen The Cutting Edge? “I love that movie,” Malco says, going on to explain how he took things slow with Dakha. “She probably thought I was gay.” But no. In fact, Malco’s in so deep, he tells us, that he may even let her shave his head.
Posted in:
April 7, 2008 5:52 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
In a recent plotline for ABC’s soap All My Children, the character Kendall Hart wrote a book called Charm! It was concurrently released in real-life bookstores (with Hart’s name and photo on the cover, since the real author is being kept a secret). It went on to score the 13th slot on the New York Times best-seller list. Ridiculous? That’s what I thought. Here are a few other titles we’d like to see from characters with a story to tell.
READ MORE 
Posted in:
April 4, 2008 3:01 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
With the Pennsylvania primary on the way this April 22, Hillary’s got to learn from her mistakes—and fast. Here, a cheat sheet on what didn’t work this week.
1.) Sniper-fire jokes.
It was not good when Clinton had to admit—after a video surfaced showing the contrary—that she’d misspoken about dodging “sniper fire” on a pretty tame trip she made to Bosnia while she was First Lady. She ‘fessed up, said she’d been exhausted when she said it, and we were ready to move on. But to go on Leno and make a joke about it (“I was so worried I wasn't going to make it. I was pinned down by sniper fire") is a lame way to seem like she’s laughing it off as if it doesn’t matter. And if her ultimate hope is to beat Barack and end up going head-to-head against McCain—a former POW—turning sniper fire into a joke, especially while we’re embroiled in Iraq, isn’t good strategy.
2.) Identifying with Rocky.
Yes, in the planning stages, it probably seemed like it’d be an incredibly dramatic gesture to give an “I’m a fighter”-type speech on those infamous Philly steps. But did anyone tell Hillary that the original Rocky, um, loses his big heavyweight fight?
3.) Creating a He-Said-She-Said Fray.
When former Clintonian Bill Richardson endorsed Obama instead of Hillary, reporters rushed to get Hillary’s side of the story. They asked if she’d ever told Richardson that Barack couldn’t win the general election. She responded with “That would be a no,” causing journalists like ABC News' George Stephanopoulos to think that meant she had said Barack couldn’t win; her aides later insisted that she did not mean it that way, and that her “no” meant she was declining to talk about that conversation. “I don't talk about private conversations but I have consistently made the case that I can win," she said in a later press conference. But if Clinton is already being criticized for going negative, why not just lay it out there, as plain as day, and publicly declare that she can win and her opponent can’t?
READ MORE
Posted in:
April 3, 2008 2:51 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
I admit that I occasionally stop into American Apparel for basics like a plain black t-shirt. Even though it costs more than somewhere like Old Navy or Forever 21, I like AA’s no-sweatshop-labor policies (everything’s made in America). But the thing that’s always skeeved me out are their pervy ads. They look like amateur porn, Lonely Girl 15 webcam stuff, like some sleazy old man would take in his basement—or like that Fiona Apple video for “Criminal.”
As a rabid Woody Allen fan, I was kind of surprised when someone told me he was on American Apparel billboards—I didn’t know why they’d pick him of all people, since he doesn’t look much (okay, that much) like a coked-up prepubescent girl. It seemed doubly weird because Allen doesn’t do any US product endorsements. So when I searched for the photos—fearing the worst, of Allen stripped down except for tall athletic socks and gold lame running shorts—I was even more surprised to see a screenshot of him dressed as a rabbi from Annie Hall, with Yiddish writing scrawled across the top. Um, OK. I’m sure those LA hipsters thought that was oh so edgy.
Other than to get people talking, I have no idea why American Apparel would pick Allen as their poster child—he’s not sexy, he dresses in decidedly Gap-like khaki clothes, he’s way older than their demographic, and he’s, in my opinion, considerably pervy—oh right, that’s their thing. But if they were looking to evolve their perv-branding, why not choose a different shot from Annie Hall, like where he’s lunging at his ex-wife to unhook her bra or casually hooking up with that waify chick from The Shining. Is this something about “unsexy is the new sexy”, or something that I just don’t get?
The ad is also not gonna be cheap; Allen’s suing AA for $10 million in damages, saying they never contacted him to pay him, get his approval—or even to let the poor guy know they were using his image. Yeah, it’s a big publicity stunt that’ll get people talking about those American Apparel schmucks, but I don’t get the why of it.
What do you think about American Apparel’s Woody Allen ads? Sexy? What am I not getting?
READ MORE
Posted in:
April 1, 2008 3:10 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
I love Bjork’s videos in part because I like a lot of her music—but more than that, I can always count on her for big-bang spectacle. READ MORE
Posted in:
March 27, 2008 4:25 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
Maybe you remember Axl Rose, the former front man of Guns N’ Roses, as the superhot sex symbol he was in the '90s? (Seen him lately? He’s an uber-Botoxed, oversize-jersey-wearing, redheaded faux-Rastafarian.) He’s also been promising his oeuvre — an album called Chinese Democracy — for 17 frickin’ years. So in a shameless publicity stunt, Dr Pepper has promised that if Axl actually drops the album in 2008, everyone in America — except for estranged guitarists Slash and Buckethead — will receive a free can of Dr Pepper.
Daily dishers: Are we actually gonna see this album in ’08? Or ... ever?
READ MORE
Posted in:
March 26, 2008 2:21 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
A nude photo of France’s first lady, Carla Bruni Sarkozy, is going up for sale at Christie’s on April 10. Rumors are flying that it’ll fetch $4,000. Here’s the thing: It is a really beautiful, stark, sexy portrait. But I can’t stop thinking about how this would play in America. If a naked photo of Michelle Obama went viral on the Internet right now, I can all but guarantee it would end Obama’s Presidential bid. And if the photos were purposeful — not just stolen off a camera-phone or something — I think the fallout would be even worse. Yet it doesn’t seem to be affecting Sarkozy at all (other than putting a big, dopey, “You all want to have sex with my hot wife” grin on his face).
Daily dishers: Would you hang an artful nude of the first lady above your mantel?
READ MORE
Posted in:
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
I just read that the war in Iraq is a main cause of the country’s economic mess—because it costs us $5,000 per second. And my parents diss me because I can’t balance a checkbook.
READ MORE
Posted in:
March 25, 2008 1:20 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
Finally, someone is daring to poke fun at “Take Your Daughter to Work Day,” held every year with much fanfare on April 24. Check out ONN (the Onion’s CNN-spoof web show) for a great segment on Take Your Daughter to WAR day, where young girls can raid houses, search for terrorists, and overall have a day “they’ll never forget.” So wrong it’s right. READ MORE
Posted in:
March 21, 2008 2:12 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
This morning I took the plunge and signed up for my 401(k). I’m coming up on my year with the company, which offers a match at that point, so I’d be throwing out free money (up to $900 a year) by not signing up. On the phone for my “consultation with an expert representative advisor,” I felt like a financial superhero just by agreeing to squirrel away 6% of my income. Yes, it would be a hit to my paycheck, but I’d be a noble, PB&J-eating, strong-ass woman, never to be reliant on some lame Sugar Daddy. Empowering? Hell yes. Despite the wildly fluctuating financial markets, it felt great to sign up, like pampering my finances with a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc and a bubble bath. But then, calculating from my date of birth and figuring when I could first take the money out of the account without penalty, my new best friend “expert representative advisor” almost made me barf when she uttered “2045.” Yup, that’s when I can actually hope to see a penny of this hard-earned cash…that I’m not spending on dinners at cool new restaurants or a great pair of shoes or a trip to Tahiti. As a member of a generation that sucks at long-term gratification, I wanted to take the money and run (to H&M). So before I could change my mind about my 6%, I said thanks and hung up. READ MORE
Posted in:
March 20, 2008 10:34 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
This week I was psyched to see some great actresses, the kind usually relegated to the periphery, carry their own shows. In The Return of Jezebel James, indie queen Parker Posey lives with Lauren Ambrose, the troubled, dark, smart sister on Six Feet Under, who plays…Posey’s troubled, dark, smart sister. The show, which I’d been so excited about, is entirely unwatchable. Every time Posey, a book editor, skipped through her multi-million dollar NYC loft, I rolled my eyes; every time the overzealous laugh track kicked in, I hunched my shoulders in embarrassment.
Burned, I was skeptical about trying out the other girl-power season premiere, starring Judy Greer. For years, I’ve loved Greer, who paid her dues as the perennially quirky-best-friend-sidekick (13 Going on 30, The Wedding Planner, 27 Dresses). Even though she’s a funny, sympathetic actress, I think her looks—you know, like a regular person instead of a plastic surgery cyborg of perfection—kept her from nabbing lead roles. So I was beyond excited to see her get her own show, Miss Guided (despite its being produced by Ashton Kutcher). READ MORE
Posted in:
March 11, 2008 3:34 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
A crowd of people — many in unfortunate Madonna-themed attire — wait outside the Waldorf-Astoria, hoping to catch a photo of her on her way into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame’s induction ceremony. Lots of the Saturday Night Live ladies are here, all glammed up with shiny hair, like Kristen Wiig and newcomer Casey Wilson. Tom Hanks in person is cuter, younger-looking, and has more hair than I'd thought. Flashes go off and cameras clack, with the photographers screaming: Mr. Hanks! Tom! Tom! Up, chin up! To the left! This way! Here, Tom! Right, look right! Down here, Tommy! Tom tells us he got stuck in elevator for 15 minutes on the way down here and everyone laughs.
A light is on fire! The whole rooms smells like a burnt out hairdryer. Announcer reassures us that the smell is actually melted carpet from too-hot light. Richard Belzer comes out in his trademark stupid sunglasses. Oh, Patti LaBelle — what are you wearing? A bright red satiny, poufy, knee-length dress over matching pants? With Easter-egg-turquoise nails? And didn't anyone tell you chandelier earrings aren't supposed to be, you know, actual chandeliers? Then she breaks into "If You Don't Know Me By Now," and I remember her voice is so great that I can forgive any sartorial errors. Then she breezes in wearing six-inch Versace heels (“They’re killing me!") and tells us that 50 Cent and Kanye’s “Gold Digger” get her dancing, despite not liking the dirty lyrics.
Funny that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan used to be romantic leads together, because she’s sooo scary in person. Her face looks like it was vacuum-sealed. Ben Harper comes on stage and looks super-cute in a white jacket, grey pants, and cool blue tie. When someone asks who he’s voting for, Harper wins major points by saying, passionately, with his hand over his heart, that it used to be “private, sacred” information—before revealing he’s "in full support of Barack Obama." Oh well. He gets back on my good side by saying
“Dress You Up in My Love” is his favorite Madonna song, one of my top picks. READ MORE
Posted in:
March 10, 2008 3:36 PM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
If I didn’t feel bad enough about the extra few pounds I put on this year, I
just read a study that fat people are causing global warming.
University of Illinois researchers figured out how much extra gasoline
airplanes need to use to move Americans now that we’re heavier. The answer,
based on the extra 10 pounds the average American gained in the 1990s, is an
extra 350 million gallons of gas, which churns out 3.8 million tons of
carbon dioxide. READ MORE
Posted in:
October 26, 2007 12:00 AM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
Why I Can’t Stop Watching Reality TV READ MORE
Posted in:
October 17, 2007 12:00 AM by Sarah Z. Wexler | COMMENTS
I’m annoyed by the moronic slogan for Chuck, NBC’s new geek-turned-secret-agent show.
The tagline is: “Saving the world at eleven bucks an hour.”
Chuck, a member of a Best Buy-like tech support team called the Nerd Herd, should be expected to earn a living wage for his IT help. (In those moments when my Mac has mysteriously eaten my article as I’m trying to turn it in, I’d happily pay tech support hundreds to restore it, along with my sanity). But I don’t think we should pity Chuck for his $11 an hour hero gig, because a hero—especially a fictional hero—shouldn’t expect to make a cent for it.
Take Superman, for example. Not only is his gig unpaid, but he has to work a second job (where he’s constantly berated by his editor) as a journalist. Same goes for Spiderman’s day job as Peter Parker, who works as a newspaper staff photographer—which certainly pays less than $11 when you break it all down. Even regular (non-Superhero) guys who step up to be heroes, like John McClain (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard, don’t complain that they’re not getting paid well for it.
Chuck’s salary—nearly twice the national minimum wage—was probably a hysterical joke to the studio execs and ad copy writers who came up with it, guys who wear Vineyard Vines ties and think anyone on an hourly wage is a chump. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (and yes, this nerd looked it up) the average American working in retail this year made $12.87 an hour. So it’s not really funny about poor ol’ Chuck—it’s more just the truth, and true for lots of TV-watching Americans as well.
If Chuck wants to save the world, I’m happy for it; if Chuck wants to complain about making $11 an hour, I’d support him in a labor strike. But if Chuck’s creators want us to feel bad for his low wage for being a nerd-turned-hero overnight, they won’t get any sympathy from me.
Subscribe
Print
Email
Kaboodle
Pop Sugar
Digg
Del.icio.us
Facebook
RSS
