February 5, 2008 3:00 AM by Rich Santos | COMMENTS
From urbandictionary.com:
Low Hanging Fruit: Targets or goals which are easily achievable and which do not require a lot of effort.
Last weekend, I came up with my Low Hanging Fruit Theory. It included one of those nights that my friend Justin and I decided to sit back and observe human interaction. That night we were the elder statesmen in the bar. Justins girlfriend had set up a gathering among her just-out-of-college friends. I was reminded of the younger crowd as I waited in line outside the establishmenthot shot guys showed up with no jackets despite the NYC January chill. I remembered those daystoo cool or didnt want to deal with a jacket. Man, I hope I didnt look as stupid as these guys.
Upon entering the bar I was confronted with dance-floor-makeouts as far as the eye could see. I navigated through the crowd like a tiny ship at stormy seas, catching glimpses of faces in rapture singing Journeys Dont Stop Believin at top volume. Finally, I found Justin next to an empty stool in the corner of the room. This was where wed perch and make observations. As we looked around, we noticed a huge bevy of young ladies singing together in the middle of the room. Lined up around them, like rings around Saturn were layers of guys eyeing them up and deciding what to do (my jacketless buddies were definitely in orbit). And, tumbling out of this ironically organized group of people was a disgusting couple that decided to post up right next to my stool. As they grinded (ground?) to the beat, Justin told me to look closer. I noticed the guys hand down the girls pants and a crowd gathering around. READ MORE
February 4, 2008 3:00 PM by Rich Santos | COMMENTS
Anxiety kills dating success. It affects every level of the game: meeting the girl, courting, and sex. In my East Coast, Italian-Catholic, OCD/ADD head, anxiety rules. Most of the time, it simply prevents me from succeeding. But sometimes, after enough events, my mind forces itself to look within to see what is really going on. This is never good.
Often, I try to examine the fundamental problem I have of being too unaggressive with girls. It takes more than a girl jumping into my bed with me to clue me in that its okay to at least kiss her. My main fear is that I will move too fast or too early and make her feel like Im touchy-feely guy. Id rather look like Im trying to respect her space than look like touchy-feely guy.
But really what is wrong with me? Why am I single? Why am I unaggressive? Why dont I try really hard?
A few weeks back I went with a group of friends to see the Broadway production of Young Frankenstein. I resisted at first for the very idea of sitting in the same place for over an hour is extremely frightening to me. Eventually I settled in, and did a complete 180. The production was grand. Oh, the pageantry! I found myself laughing and tapping my foot along with every number. After a while, I realized that the only two people who were frolicking along with the production with as much zeal as me were the two older gay gentlemen in front of me. As a matter of fact, at times only the three of us laughed at certain jokes.
Does this mean that I, too, am gay? READ MORE
January 15, 2008 2:00 PM by Rich Santos | COMMENTS
Last weekend after a long night of drinking, I found myself in the usual spot: smashed into a booth at a diner discussing inappropriate things. Eventually, what started as a peaceful meal among friends was contorted into a discussion about masturbation.
My friend Shannon was the headliner. She told a story about how she was so nervous that her dad kept calling her and telling he was finding contents in boxes in the garage that belonged to her.
“Shannon, I found another box of yours. There were some CDs and a hairdryer. You really need to get this stuff out of here.”
After setting up the conflict, like any good storyteller, Shannon revealed what led to the climax:
“I really wish he’d stap (stop) snew-ping (snooping) through tho-wooze (those) baxes (boxes). My viibrator’s in one of tho-wooze baxes”.
The usual reaction for this story occurred—my two male friends who did not get to hear it as often as I did sat in silence, mouths agape and heads full of mental pictures. Every few minutes, like school children, they’d beg Shannon to tell the story again.
After establishing every detail about the vibrator we could: color, size, frequency of use, we turned to more familiar discussion—male masturbation.
READ MORE