Is Money the Ultimate Dating Deal Breaker?
By Jihan Thompson
Women are outearning their male counterparts. Yet, when it comes to matters of personal finance, many average Janes behave like scared schoolgirls, afraid to disclose their money matters to their partners. What gives? According to Bonnie Weil, Ph.D., a relationship expert, many women commit what she calls “financial infidelity” — they lie about their expenses, hide purchases, and keep their debt a secret from their husbands and boyfriends. The net result could be as ruinous to a relationship as an actual affair.
ADMIT YOURE A CLOSET SPENDER
closet spender, money, relationships, relationships and money, women and money
closet spender
Are you embarrassed or afraid to discuss purchases with anyone? Closet spending is a lot like closet eatingsymbolic of a deeper problem. You may be using money as a tool to preserve control over the relationship. You may be out of control and hiding the reality. It may be worth speaking to a professional about the problem.
QUIT PRETENDING YOURE LOADED
money, relationships, relationships and money, women and money
empty wallet
Weve all been there. You join friends for dinner at a pricey restaurant. They order steaks while you stick with the cheaper salad, then cringe when you all split the bill. If you cant afford the restaurant or vacation with the girls, then say so. They wont care. And youll save yourself the painful position of maxing out your credit cards.
COME CLEAN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND
money, relationships, relationships and money, women and money
come clean with your boyfriend
Whens an appropriate time to reveal your financials to your boyfriend? By the second date, says Dr. Weil. That may sound pretty soon in the relationship, but full disclosure may help you both determine whether you want to move forward. (Wouldnt you want to know if he was saddled with debt?) The money issue will come up. And it could be a deal-breaker if you wait too long to address it.
MEET HIM HALFWAY
relationship advice, how to talk to your partner, money, relationships, relationships and money, women and money
meet him halfway
If your boyfriend makes more money and lavishes you with presents and expensive dinners, initiate a frank discussion about your financial disparities. Offer to take him to some of your favoriteand less expensivespots. Remind him youre interested in him for more than his wallet. Hell appreciate it, and even find that a pretty attractive quality. \r\n
AVOID ANGRY SHOPPING
money, relationships, relationships and money, women and money
money, avoid angry shopping
According to Dr. Weil, the average woman makes pissed off purchases about four times a year, spending about $2,000. Its an emotional hungershopping til you drop gives you the same dopamine high you feel when you first fall in love. But, that feeling never lasts. But the bills dont go away.
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