Tina Fey on Top
TF: I also remember her telling me one time in middle school that if a boy ever asked me on a date and I didn't want to go, I should make sure I was polite about it, which was hilarious because she gave me that advice about 15 years too early. I was like, "Mom, it's not coming up, it's fine." She was like, "Just make sure you're kind."
AP: There are a lot of girls who look at you as a role model. Maybe they're really smart and funny but aren't quite getting a lot of boy attention, and they're stressed out about it. What would you say to them?
TF: You know what? Let the boys practice on other girls. Let them treat other girls like crud, let them learn how to French kiss for, like, 10 years, let them give some other girl a bunch of crappy Valentine's Day gifts, and then you just move in when they're fully formed.
AP: That's the charity you're working with, right? You're opening up these French-kissing schools all over Europe?
TF: I am. I am starting a charity that's teaching boys how to French kiss better. So far, it's just me and Helen Mirren and . . .
AP: And Zac Efron. If you could be in anyone's music video, whose would it be?
TF: I would like to be in an Amy Winehouse video, and halfway through, I'd just pop out of her hair. And then I'd put her on a cracker, and I'd eat her.
AP: How many hours does it take you to get ready in the morning?
TF: Three hours.
AP: Three hours every day?
TF: Three hours every day. At least half of that time is spent taping down my penis.
AP: Have you ever had eyelash extensions?
TF: I had them years ago, and I regret it. Show up with really long eyelashes, and all of a sudden everyone thinks you're a whore.