1. You start saying things like, "I don't care if it's not fair." The most infuriating response when you're a kid suddenly seems much more reasonable.
2. You can recall a time when you recently tried to act "cool" around a group of young twentysomethings. Are people still saying dope? No?
3. It takes you a *very* long time to leave the house. Did you remember to turn off the tea kettle?
4. You realize you're officially worse at handling an iPad than a 5-year-old. How do you turn this thing on again?
5. You're personally offended when customer service representatives aren't polite. I'm FINE today, thank you for asking.
6. Daytime talk shows are way more appealing than they used to be. Whoopi Goldberg on The View just really gets me, you know?
7. And you cry during The Voice. Contestants reaching their dreams is so emotional.
8. Your grocery list is your baby and if anyone messes with it, they're done. That also goes for flower arrangements and your carefully curated drinking glass collection.
9. You're no longer are interested in top 40 music and complain about the volume of the radio. It's time to turn down the bass, kids.
10. Puns are now your joke of choice. "I used to be a banker but I lost interest," is a favorite.
11. Tidying up before you leave the house is a must. You've officially spent too much money on your clothing to leave it all over the floor.
12. You realize your mother had it right all along. You do need to bring a jacket. Plastic baggies really do come in handy. And you should always date a gentleman, because the guy with tattoos and a motorcycle really will break your heart.