Demi Lovato has spoken candidly about her history of addiction, admitting to doing drugs behind the scenes while simultaneously promoting sobriety.
In her new documentary Simply Complicated, the singer opens up about her experience with substance abuse in 2012, two years after checking into rehab in 2010 to seek treatment for alcohol and drug dependency.
"I wasn't working my [recovery] program," Demi says of her relapse. "I wasn't ready to get sober. I was sneaking [cocaine] on planes, I was sneaking it in bathrooms, sneaking it throughout the night...I went on a bender of like, two months, where I was using it daily."
"I would sneak out and get drugs, I would fake my drug tests with other people's pee. There was one night when I used a bunch of coke and I popped a few Xanax bars, and I began to choke a little bit. My heart started racing, and I thought to myself, 'Oh my god, I might be overdosing right now.'"
Demi's manager Phil McIntyre also appears in the documentary, and recalls discovering the singer " on something" while she was promoting her sober revival.
He recalls, "We were in New York and she clearly was on something, and she was on air promoting this new way of life, and I was like, 'You’re so full of it.'"
Simply Complicated touches on the eventual turning point in Demi's life, when her manager said he would leave if she didn't get clean.
"I worked with everyone on the team," he says in the documentary. "Business managers, agents, attorneys, everybody, to say, 'If Phil walks, we walk.' This was the showdown of all showdowns."
At this point, Demi was so upset at the thought of losing everyone—and everything— that she vowed to get clean properly.
"It’s embarrassing to look back on the person that I was,' Demi said, adding, "I think that approach worked for me because…it was the beginning of the process of surrendering."