It's safe to say that Khloé Kardashian is having a serious moment. When the 31-year-old firebrand isn't promoting her recently-released book, inking spinoff deals, or debunking rumors about her famous family, she's giving airtime to her killer caboose, perfectly swingy lob haircut, or the "revenge" body that Just. Won't. Quit. Talk about working your assets. But what makes her our favorite Kardashian is the fact that she manages all that with a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile...and a cocktail in hand. So, in anticipation of tonight's premiere of Kocktails With Khloé (on FYI at 10 pm EST), a show about getting buzzed with your favorite ball buster, we chatted with the reality star about the Dos and Don'ts of partying like Khloé Kardashian. Turns out there is a method to the magical madness:
DO: Curate Your Crowd
"My show isn't like a typical talk show where each person's on for, like, four to seven minutes. I wanted to make sure I was booking it like a dinner party. Not everyone has to necessarily know each other, but I want them all to be able to get along and mesh well, and I wanted to make sure that all their chemistry vibes well together. During my test show, my mother had one too many drinks, so she was really hard to reel back in, but it was a great test. So, I had Kendall on for my moral support. I was so nervous, and I needed a sister to balance me out. I wanted a sister who wasn't able to drink. Kendall's under age, so I wasn't stressed about reeling anybody back in with her. And then Snoop Dogg, of course, was on. He's a family friend, but also, it's Snoop Dogg. He's hysterical, and he brings the TV. I also know, because I know him, that I can ask him some more controversial questions, and I'm still going to get that Snoop Dogg out of him."
DO: Invite Guests Who Bring Party Favors
"Snoop loves his gin and juice, but he's also a drinker. He definitely brought his cannabis with him, and that's why we love him."
DO: Embrace Liquid Courage
"I mean, I know I'm direct, but I don't think it's anything that people aren't used to. But comedian and actress Kym Whitley was on my show, and I was asking questions, and she just kept going, 'Oh! Oh!' Like, she was covering her mouth. She was so shocked that I was so direct. I started laughing. I'm like, 'This is how I talk all the time!' But I guess the little bit of alcohol maybe was a little more brutal."
DO: Drink With "Intent"
"Kimberly does not drink alcohol whatsoever. Pregnant or not, she's just never been into it. Kendall and Kylie are not into it. Even when Kendall goes to Europe where the drinking age is 18, she's never—Kendall's really focused and determined. I think because my parents have always been like, 'Listen, if you're going to drink, call me. I need to pick you up…just be honest…I don't want any of your friends driving you home.' You know, we're not here to yell or judge each other. We've never had problems or rehab stints or this or that. I definitely drank underage, but I don't even drink, like, once a week now that I'm older. My mom has a drink every night with dinner. That's her thing, and that's what she loves to do. I don't like the taste of alcohol like that, so if I drink, I drink for intent. Like, I don't care to just have a glass of wine. No, I want to get fucking buzzed or drunk. That's the point!"
DO: Have at Least One Proper Roll Dog—Even If It's Your Mom
"Kourtney used to drink a lot more in college and probably before she had kids. She's literally been pregnant for, like, six years or breastfeeding, so I think that has obviously changed her life now. But during Christmas Eve when we're having a party, she still has, like, a glass of champagne. No one's hardcore. I think that me and my mom are, like, the most. My mom's every night. And me, it's like, I'm normally good, but when I'm ready, I'm going to drink my vodka or shots. I'm going to drink."
DO: Pick a Killer Playlist (Bieber Included)
"I love myself some Future. Future is always super good. I like Fetty Wap. It's mostly hip hop, but if I were to pick a Pandora station, it's hip hop and pop. Also, it's so funny, I turned into a Belieber in 2015, which I never thought would happen. I'm like, How did Justin Bieber take over all of our lives?"
DON'T: Drink Lemon Drops
"All of us were visiting our grandmother in San Diego. So it was, like, my mom, Kim, and we were with our crew. My film crew has been with us since season one, so I love them. Once we were done filming, they were all going to a bar. Of course, my sister is going to sleep. My mom is asleep. I was like, 'I'm not tired, and I want to hang out.' So I went with the film crew, and I hung out, and we just started drinking lemon drops. I don't know why I was on this mission to get so fucked up. I probably had at least 18 lemon drops. And we went to a karaoke bar—I don't even do karaoke, by the way. The next day I was supposed to go to the zoo with everyone, was so hung over, and it was the worst experience. Now, even if they say 'lemon drop,' I want to throw up. My poor grandmother was like, 'Thanks for coming to see me, you drunk.' I'm like, 'I'm sorry!'"
DON'T: Confuse Cocktail Kinship for Friendship
"I'm more like, 'Are we really friends, or was that person just as drunk as I was?' I'm a little insecure maybe, so I don't follow up. But there are definitely girls where we had the best time, and we don't really call each other after, but if I were to see them again, it's like, 'Oh my god!!!' That whole thing. That definitely happens. I don't know why we're all so happy when we're drunk."
DON'T: Get Sloppy
"I don't care what you drink. I know some girls, like, hate if a guy orders a martini. I don't care what you drink—drink whatever you want. I don't believe there's like a man's drink versus a girl's drink. But I hate when people get so drunk. It's so unattractive. I mean, we've all been there, but normally that happens if you are underage drinking, or if you're in your early twenties. I don't like when I see an adult—like, learn how to control your liquor. And if you want to get slaughtered, do it at home. There's a time and a place for everything, and so if a guy especially is that drunk—a guy is supposed to be your protector, like, if you're on a date or something—I just think he should learn how to control his liquor, because that's the most unattractive thing in my opinion."
DO: Know Where the Party's At
"My mom throws these epic, annual Christmas Eve parties. We look forward to them every year, and we get super dressed up. It's also so private that you can get as slaughtered as you want, and no one's there, and you don't feel judged. I love those. Her 60th birthday was pretty epic, and I got so messed up, but that's okay. But then, Puff Daddy obviously throws the best parties. He throws a party annually in Miami for some music festival. He's a family friend, and his parties are just the best. He's such a happy host. He's like, 'However long people want to stay, stay!' It's not like he's kicking anyone out. It's at his house, too, that he does it. It's just so awesome—he throws the best parties. It's music that I would never think I would like, but everyone's so happy—probably for a slew of reasons I don't even want to know—that you're just like, 'Okay!'"
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