Darling Ally: Why Won't He Commit?

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Meet Ally, Marie Claire's guest relationship blogger. She's no expert (though she's had enough experience to be one), but she tells it like it is.

Last night at dinner, my friend Rachel was complaining about her boyfriend ... again. The story is one we've all heard before: He refuses to commit. It's driving her nuts, and I can't say I blame her.

But really, what's with all these guys? I mean, Rachel and her guy have only been living together for FIVE years already. What's he waiting for? He has to know that she feels like she's not getting any younger — which she'll likely kill me for saying. But maybe he just doesn't, and that's what so many of us ladies don't understand. There's definitely no sense of urgency there. Personally, I think she should dump him on his can't-make-a-decision ass — but that's just me.

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Her commitment-averse mate kind of reminds me of my latest ex, Rick. When I invited him to my little sister's wedding, he asked if my parents were going to be there. Um, yes. Yes, they will be in attendance, Rick.

I guess he thought that potential situation was a little too "serious" — this is after months of dating (and tons of great sex, I might add). Obviously, I kicked the vegetarian to the curb. Then chowed down on two hot dogs just to spite him.

So, let's discuss: What are guys really so afraid of?

Are they afraid of feeling trapped? Of having sex with the same girl for the rest of their lives? That has to be a major part of it, right?

From what I can tell, they always think there's someone hotter, taller, blonder, smarter, or with a better rack right around the corner. As if the second the guy decides to commit, some leggy supermodel-slash-doctor will throw herself at him, and he'll have to begrudgingly say, "I'm really sorry, but I'm in a committed relationship." It's beyond ridiculous. But is there more to it that I'm glossing over in my frustration?

However, I do still have faith that guys can evolve. My sister's marrying an ex-jerk who cheated on her — with her best friend! (the horror, I know!) — back in high school. Eddie eventually grew up and got over his fear of commitment. So I keep telling myself … eventually, eventually.

Though I must say I'm getting pretty exhausted by the waiting.

What about you? Are you currently battling with a commitment-phobe? How do you deal with it? When is it time to walk away or (gasp) look at yourself and see if your own issues are clouding your judgment?

Wondering why your guy won't commit? Or do you have another relationship question? Ask Ally. She's no pro, but she'll give you her brutally honest opinion. And what girl doesn't want that now and then?


Follow Ally on Twitter (@DarlingAlly)!

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