Tom Cruise Hates Packaged Cookie Dough, and 3 Other Excerpts from Leah Remini's Book

*moves open tub of Tollhouse from behind back*

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and daughter Suri.
(Image credit: Getty Images)

The buzz around Leah Remini's tell-all Troublemaker has been building ever since the news about poor Suri broke yesterday, and now, with the book's release Tuesday, it's set to reach a fever pitch. Mostly because of the cookie-dough-induced temper tantrum.

E! News combed the memoir for the juiciest/most sensational bits, which we've summarized here. Did Sharon Osbourne and Leah Remini really rumble? What does Dancing with the Stars have to do with anything? AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CONVENIENCE FOODS (in moderation), TOM CRUISE? Keep scrolling to find out.

Remini's 'Dancing with the Stars' partner was allegedly followed

For two weeks, a car tailed Tony Dovolani, who, Remini writes, was also under surveillance. When Kirstie Alley, known Scientologist, found out her DWTS partner and friend Maksim Chmerkovskiy had visited Remini's house, she gave him the cold shoulder. He "didn't take it too hard."

She makes some serious claims of child neglect

"'Nursery' was a charitable term for the motel room in the Quality Inn filled with cribs of crying, neglected babies, flies, and the smell of dirty diapers," Remini writes on page 30. "The only ventilation came from a huge fan by the window. This was where Sea Org members and staff dropped off their babies at seven in the morning and then picked them up at ten in the evening when their workday was over...The first time I went to the nursery I was devastated by what I found. The person in charge was a kid like me, just some random teenage Sea Org member on post, who was hardly qualified to be taking care of children. [Sister] Shannon was crying and soaked with urine in her crib."

During an argument, Sharon Osbourne was like "Are you going to sic your Scientologist friends on me?" 

Here's how it played out, according to Remini: When they were both co-hosts of The Talk, Remini criticized Osbourne's attitude at a dinner. Osbourne called her a loser. Remini advised her to back down, and Osbourne answered "Or what? Or you're going to get your low-life Mafia family after me?" [Pause] Nah—Remini said she was merely going to "take this iced tea that I'm holding in my hand and I'm going to crack it over your f*cking head."

As Tom Cruise's assistant, you should never serve him 1) beverages in chipped mugs or 2) not-homemade cookie dough because he will 1) scream at you to "get in the f*cking present time;" 2) scream at you some more; and 3) ask you (rhetorically) if you know who drinks tea from imperfect earthenware. "F*cking DBs," that's who. (As in "Degraded Being," someone who will never achieve her ultimate alien form.)

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Chelsea Peng
Assistant Editor

Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.