Sorry to Dash Your Hopes and Dreams, but Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Evans Aren't Dating

::still ships them violently::

Celebrity scientist Jennifer Lawrence (specialty: Bradley Cooper's sweaty butt) has been romantically linked to half of youngish, male Hollywood post-Nicholas Hoult, so why, of all people, deny that she's dating Chris Evans? Fidel Castro < Captain America, always.

Following reports that the two were engaged in the adult-famous-person version of "talking" at Amy Schumer's urging, a source shut down the rumor, telling E! News that Lawrence is "happily single."

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The primo setup is indisputable, though, what with mutual friend Chris Pratt, the chill, pizza-scented vibes, and the whole America's-sweethearts thing. Plus, Amy Schumer apparently wants this to happen, so by the power vested in her, it shall. 

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