Sarah Silverman Just Had the Most Shocking Near-Death Experience

Two words: holy sh*t.

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Sarah Silverman almost died last week, and the internet will surely be full of cheesy people joking that it's "no laughing matter." But it straight up isn't. The comedian went to the doctor because she had a sore throat, and ended up in the ICU for a week. Turns out she had a "freak case of epiglottitis" (swelling of the cartilage lid that covers the windpipe), which rendered her "extremely lucky to be alive."

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Sarah shared her story on Facebook, and it sounds truly harrowing.

"There's something that happens when three people you're so close to die within a year and then YOU almost die but don't. (That was me. I'm the one that didn't die.)," she said. "It's a strange dichotomy between, 'Why me?' and the other, 'Why me?' They couldn't put me fully to sleep for the recovery process because my blood pressure's too low. I was drugged just enough to not feel the pain and have no idea what was happening or where I was. They had to have my hands restrained to keep me from pulling out my breathing tube. My friend Stephanie said I kept writing, 'Was I in an accident?'"

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The star didn't remember anything about the incident until after her medication wore off. "Slowly as the opiates faded away, [I] remembered the trauma of the surgery and spent the first two days home kind of free-falling from the meds/lack of meds and the paralyzing realization that nothing matters," she wrote. "Luckily that was followed by the motivating revelation that nothing matters."

So. Scary. But here comes the cute part where she thanks her boyfriend, Michael Sheen.

"I'm so moved by my real-life hero, Michael, and amazing Sissies (blood & otherwise) & friendos, who all coordinated so that there wasn't a moment I was alone. It makes me cry. Which hurts my throat. So stop."

By the way, Sarah didn't lose her sense of humor through this ordeal. The first thing she asked upon waking up was "Did you see Hello My Name Is Doris?"

Classic LOLs, but on a more serious note: join us in wishing Sarah a speedy recovery. Read her full post below:

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