Bill Clinton just delivered his hotly anticipated DNC speech, and basically recounted the plot of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Because yes, that's how cute his love story with Hillary Clinton is.
"In the spring of 1971, I met a girl," Bill began. "The first time I saw her, we were appropriately enough in a class on political and civil rights. She had thick blonde hair, big glasses, wore no makeup. And she exuded this sense of strength and self-possession that I found magnetic."
In the words of Kenickie in Grease, keep talkin', oh, keep talkin':
"Then one night in the law library…I saw that girl again standing at the opposite end of that long room. And she was staring back at me. I watched her as she closed her book, put it down down, and started walking toward me. She walked the whole length of the library, came up to me and said, 'Look, if you're going to keep staring me, and now I'm staring back. We at least oughta know each other's name. I'm Hillary Rodham, who are you?' I was so impressed and surprised that, whether you believe it or not, momentarily, I was speechless. Finally I sort of blurted out my name and we exchanged a few words and then she went away."
Let's pause for a quick water break 'cause the romantic tension is too hot to handle.
Kay, cool. Moving on, Bill faked his way through a class registry just to see her again.
"We stood in line and talked…and I thought I was doing pretty well. 'Til we got to the front of the line and the registrar looked up and said, 'Bill what are you doing here, you registered this morning!' I turned red, and she laughed that big laugh of hers. And I thought, 'Well heck, since my cover's been blown,' I just went ahead and asked her to take a walk down to the art museum. We've been walking, talking, and laughing together ever since."
Bill asked Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes, but it was worth the wait. "I married my best friend. I was still in awe, after more than four years of being around her, at how smart, and strong, and loving, and caring she was."
Annnnd cut to Warner Brothers and FOX fighting over the rights to this movie.