crush
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Our Favorite Way to Talk about Love
Do you have a crush? Are you on fire? Is he hot? We use metaphors all the time to describe how we feel about love.
By Maura Kelly Published
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Why Do I Make Girl Friends, but Not Girlfriends?
The other day my friend Claire asked me to set mouse traps for her in her apartment. Despite my hatred of cruel things like mouse traps, and my very comfortable position on the couch, I got up to help her out of friendly duty.
By Rich Santos Published
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9 Reasons It's Tough to Be Friends with a Crush
Most guy-girl friend duos were once complicated because one person had a crush on the other person. In fact, many of my friendships with women (before I started working) developed because I was attracted to them.
By Rich Santos Published
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The Tragedy of Showing Too Much of My Feminine Side
Do Women Like Sensetive Men - Downside of Feminine Men
By Rich Santos Published
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How Lying Helps Your Relationship
They say "honesty is the best policy," and this rings true in dating. But women accuse me of speaking too truthfully, believe it or not.
By Rich Santos Published
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How Your Senses Affect Your Relationship
Guys are visual creatures, but the other senses are important for a complete experience with someone.
By Rich Santos Published
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16 Girls, 16 Lessons Learned (Part 1)
As you know, my life has been filled with dating mistakes, and the occasional lucky triumph.
By Rich Santos Published
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Friends or Lovers?
After all this cluelessness, Ive finally discovered that it helps to become friends with someone before actually dating them. But there are different levels and types of attractions that exist between friends.
By Rich Santos Published
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Who Is Your "One That Got Away?"
Do you have "the one that got away?" To qualify, they must have the following two characteristics:We had to have a chance with them at one point. We either dated this person or knew they wanted to date us. There's some kind of history there beyond just having a crush on someone that didn't know we existed.The one that got away improves, becoming more attractive after we've blown it or after they are gone. We wouldn't want them back or lament anything if they didn't get even more attractive than they were before, right?My work friend, Margaret, has a very entertaining one that got away. A while back she was dating this guy who coached football at a nearby college. He was making $11,000 a year (the average rent for a studio apartment in NYC is around $1,800) and living in the basement of the gym. I would ask Margaret about her weekend:"So how was your night in the basement of the gym?"
By Rich Santos Published
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How Do You Keep Sparks In Your Relationship?
Fourth of July conjures up memories of steamed crabs, fireflies, and sparklers. Yeah, those things are kind of random, but that’s the protocol for a late afternoon Baltimore cookout in the summer—oh, and terrible, terrible cheap beer. One would have to head further South to get real fireworks, but in our earlier days my sisters and I were content to sprint around with sparklers in hand. As the Fourth approaches, I’ve been inundated with friends seeking advice and telling me stories about dating, and they always take a moment to acknowledge the presence or absence of “the spark”. So, sparklers are lame entertainment for Fourth of July, but “the spark” is actually that rare thing we seek in relationships. The spark is a tough thing to define, but listing some characteristics of the spark will help us get there: It does not occur often—we can date for years and never feel a spark with anyone It is something we are almost always sure of—you can’t “think” you’re feeling sparks, you usually know it’s there 100% It is not always mutual: it is possible for only one person in potential couple to feel a spark It is spontaneous: it doesn’t develop, it kind of just happens. This is evident by the fact that sometimes friends suddenly feel sparks after years of platonic behavior It can go away and come back So, this brings up other things to consider. How do sparks make us behave, and—more importantly—what kind of strategies can we use to keep sparks flying in our relationships as they blossom into long term unions or marriage? Sparks make me do crazy things:
By Rich Santos Published
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Can You Help Me Define Romance (Part 2)
There are 21 definitions for “romance” on dictionary.com. None of them do the word justice. To me, romance is a memory you have of being with someone that stays with you forever. Within this memory, you have sensory recollection: smells, sounds (crickets at night, waves, wind through leaves, voices), and visions (maybe the way the lights in the surrounding city swirled around their face when you looked at them). In this sense, you can have romantic memories with friends/family as well as lovers, or even moments you remember when you were alone.
By Rich Santos Published
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Can You Help Me Define Romance? (Part One)
This past weekend, I was at my parent’s house and I took look through my memory box that I keep under my bed. While rifling through old ticket stubs, notes from classes, letters, sugar packets or receipts from restaurants, and napkins or scratch paper with girls’ phone numbers on them, even (I admit) old MASH games (a game of chance where you write down four people you’d like to end up with someday), I grew a bit concerned. The item I was looking for was not there. I’ve always had a strict policy of saving items to mark moments of romantic significance in my life. These are my romantic relics (“relic” is defined in Wikepedia as: an object or a personal item of someone of religious significance, carefully preserved with an air of veneration as a tangible memorial.) I was relieved when I remembered there was another box in my closet--an even older box that held the item I was looking for. Here is the story behind that item: In ninth grade I had a huge crush on a senior girl in my Latin Class (Latin I that some of the seniors took just to meet a requirement, while us freshman started to learn a whole new language). The toughest part of the crush was that we developed a friendship. By the time the year ended, I had been to some parties with her and always said “hi” to her in the hallway and was not afraid to approach her. The friendship was just enough contact in my fifteen-year-old mind to make me think there was hope of us maybe becoming boyfriend-girlfriend.
By Rich Santos Published
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Crush of the Month: Nerds!
What is it about the geek that gets us going? His jaundiced sense of humor? The perspective that comes with having your face repeatedly slammed into a locker? Or the cred, bank, and power he stands to earn just as the prom king is getting thick aroun
By Sarah Wexler Published
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Grandpa Crushes
A poll taken at a recent mojito night revealed that every woman in our office has a grandpa crush. Who's yours?
By The Editors Published