Megan Amram @meganamram
This guy I'm dating is basically a prince (he lives with his parents)
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 20, 2014
Kristen Bell @IMKristenBell
Having a cold while being pregnant is like getting a parking ticket while you’re at the dentist.
— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) August 7, 2014
Laura Benanti @LauraBenanti
"I'm not friends with girls. I just get along better with guys!"TRANSLATION"I will absolutely try to have sex with your boyfriend."
— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) August 20, 2014
Ellen DeGeneres @TheEllenShow
Kat Dennings @OfficialKat
My weekends are mostly spent being sad the 90s are over
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) August 17, 2014
Lena Dunham @lenadunham
A TSA worker just growled at me to "turn your necklace onto your back" and it was confusing/felt like an erotic command
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) August 21, 2014
Shelby Fero @shelbyfero
Taking your pants all the way off before you pee is the only way to feel man has truly risen above animal.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) August 14, 2014
Rashida Jones @iamrashidajones
Mindy Kaling @mindykaling
I like you if every song is about you even the ones that make no sense like losing my religion
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 16, 2014
Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47
Sometimes I think "I need to think before I speak" and then other times I think "I shouldn't leave the house or interact with people ever."
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 4, 2014
Brit Marling @britmarling
Is there anything so dangerous as a person who says "I am a good person" full stop.
— brit marling (@britmarling) June 22, 2014
Olivia Munn @oliviamunn
They say behind every great man is a great woman... But behind every great woman is Yoda. 🙏
— oliviamunn (@oliviamunn) July 14, 2014
Kelly Oxford @kellyoxford
Can someone develop an app that electrocutes a person who asks to see a photo on your phone then starts scrolling through all of them?
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 21, 2014
Paula Pell @perlapell
I will never wear a bikini but weirdly will proudly wear a zero-piece swimsuit.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) August 20, 2014
Chelsea Peretti @ChelseaVPeretti
I like pretending Hollywood is a real place
— Chelsea Peretti (@ChelseaVPeretti) August 20, 2014
Amy Schumer @amyschumer
Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman
What to do when the sound of silence is a very high-pitched ring
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) August 8, 2014
Julieanne Smolinski @BoobsRadley
I hope that women know better than to just send creeps they barely know pictures of their boobs. Some of them are way more into feet.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 16, 2014
Chrissy Teigen @chrissyteigen
I get sad when I remember my passport and no one claps and cheers
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 19, 2014