The BIG Question

Living in New York, I get asked a lot of questions by strangers:

"Which way is Fifth Avenue?"

"Is this the uptown train?"

"Can you spare a quarter?"

I generally answer them. I'm from the Midwest, where people do things like that. Problem is, when someone stops to ask you a question in New York, you have only a split second to decide: Is the person a tourist, or a psycho? Usually it's pretty clear. But not always.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Take the other night: I'm walking home from my neighborhood grocery store in lower Manhattan. I'm marveling at how a tiny container of raspberries could cost a whole $7, when a shy-looking young man spots me and says, "Can you tell me..." I figured he was a normal guy about to ask for directions to the Brooklyn Bridge or something, so I slowed down. But no. What he wanted to know was, "Is my penis too SMALL?"

Then his hands flew to his zipper. Well, I did what any New Yorker would do—I picked up my pace and jetted past him with my $7 raspberries. But he persisted: "Ma'am, seriously, is it too small? Look at it! LOOK! I need to know! Do you think my penis is too small? Ma'am?!?" he shouted down the street, till I disappeared around a corner.

The nutcakes here are nothing if not creative.

More from Marie Claire:
Culture
Share
Watch the Trailer for 'Game of Thrones' Season 7
Culture
Share
BTS on What It Means Winning Billboard's Top Social Artist Award...and What's Next
Culture
Share
"We Just Kept Running and Running": A 17-Year-Old Fan Opens Up About the Manchester Concert Bombing
Culture
Share
Apparently Marilyn Monroe Was the Inspiration for 'Twin Peaks'
Prince William, Kate Middleton
Culture
Share
Prince William Pays Tribute to the Manchester Attack Victims and Their Families in a Statement
Culture
Share
After Bombing, Manchester Residents Show Us All the Meaning of Unity
Culture
Share
This Woman Cared for 50 Children at a Hotel Following the Manchester Attack
Culture
Share
'The Bachelorette' Is a Necessary Shift in the Conversation About Black Womanhood
Culture
Share
An Explosion at an Ariana Grande Concert Leaves 19 Dead and 50 Injured
Culture
Share
New 'Game of Thrones' Photos Tease a War Even Bigger Than the Battle of the Bastards