The Best Lines in Ivana Trump's New Book, 'Raising Trump'

"After the showgirl got pregnant and had a daughter, Donald married her ... He couldn't not wed the mother of his new baby, regardless of whether his heart was really in it, " Trump writes.

Ivana Trump's book about her life and her three children's upbringing, Raising Trump, is out this week and Donald Trump's first wife has been busy promoting the memoir the past few days.

On CBS Sunday Morning she called Marla Maples, the president's second wife, a "showgirl" and a "nobody" who "never achieve (sic) anything in her life."

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And when she called herself "first lady" in an interview with Good Morning America, it provoked a tart response from the official first lady's office, calling it "attention seeking and self-serving noise."

Amid the "self-serving noise" are a few memorable zingers. Here are the best of them.

On Marla Maples:

"After the showgirl got pregnant and had a daughter, Donald married her. The whole world was watching. He couldn't not wed the mother of his new baby, regardless of whether his heart was really in it."

Buy NowRaising Trump, $18.88

On Donald's Wedding to Marla:

"None of [my] children went to Donald's Christmas 1993 wedding; and not because I asked them to protest it. It wasn't my business. We didn't speak at home about it at all. The issued a statement to the press, saying, 'In discussions among ourselves, we decided to stay in Aspen with out mother and grandmother.' I appreciated my children's company and support."

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On Tiffany:

"...she's a lovely young woman, and a graduate of Donald, Ivanka, and Don's alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania. She is a law student and will likely join the Trump Organization to work alongside her half brothers. I wish her well."

On her split from Donald Trump and the aftermath:

"I'm not saying that if it weren't for the showgirl, Donald and I would still be together or that my life since our divorce hasn't been a wonderful adventure of love, travel, success, and laughter. I've had a fabulous life. But that woman knowingly entered into a relationship with my husband, the father of three small children. She actively participated in humiliating me in the media and indirectly put my kids at risk for months. I went through hell, and then I was expected to be okay with her being around my children? We all have deep scars from that period of our lives, in part due to her actions. The fact that the kids and I came through the entire ordeal stronger is irrelevant."

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On Melania:

"I have no problems with her at all. Why should I? She didn't break up my marriage."

On Whether She Would Want the Job of First Lady:

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be in Melania's Louboutins right now.

"Frankly, I wouldn't want to be in Melania's Louboutins right now ... No, I don't want anything to do with Washington. What do people do for fun at the White House? Throw bowling balls in the basement with security guards watching your every move? Forget it. I'd rather be a secret adviser to Donald from the comfort of my town house, should he call."

On What Could Have Happened if Donald Ran for President Earlier:

"Back in the eighties, Ronald Reagan sent Donald a letter asking him to run for president, and I thought it was a great idea. But then the [Marla Maples] scandal happened and the press hated him, so a run was out. I believe in always looking to the future and never asking, 'What if?' But in this one case, if the affair had never happened and Donald had run in '92 and won, I'd have whipped the White House staff into shape in ten days."

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