11 Things Every Twentysomething Thinks During a Birthday Dinner

I just got hired full-time. Everything's expensive.

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1. I need to get there early so I can get a good seat. There is nothing worse than getting stuck at the end of a long table with the dud who can't hold a conversation.

2. What do you *mean* we can't sit until my entire party arrives? This is my nightmare.

3. I love my friend, but how much is this going to cost? I'm still paying off the last birthday dinner circa six months ago.

4. If you're not willing to split it down the middle, you're a life-ruiner. Plain and simple.

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5. Ashley got her a present AND brought the cake? oh no, I can't give her this card I crafted from computer paper and a highlighter.

6. I might pass out from all the iPhone camera flashes. The truth is, if it's not on Instagram, it technically never happened.

7. I only ordered a soup and now I have to pay 75 bucks for sitting here next to the girl with five cocktails and the surf and turf.

8. I feel so sorry for the poor fellow who is splitting this balance on 13 credit cards right now. Carry the 1...

9. How much should we factor in for tax and tip? How does this never work out? Aren't we adults?

10. How long have we been sitting here? It feels like half my lifetime.

11. Okay, everyone needs to throw in another dollar. GROOANNSS.

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