Only boring people get bored, but that's just because they didn't have these presents.

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Loop-the-Loop Ring

I would spend at least 30 minutes a day following the different bands around and getting dizzy, TBH.

Pandora Entwined Ring, $165; pandora.net

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Nail Polish Set

In a post-Dior Fall 2015 world, *the* way to wear nail lacquer is one complementary shade on each hand. Dreaming up color combos is half the fun.

Smith & Cult Holiday Trio 2 (Red and Glitter), $54; neimanmarcus.com.

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My Preferred Bra

This is very Kanye of me to say, but instead of imagining, like, a Hemsworth in his underwear, imagine you and your boobs being cradled by high-quality stretch lace when you get bored.

Negative Underwear Nude V1 Essaouira Demi Bra, $80; negativeunderwear.com.

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Fringe-y Bag Accessory

Deciding which three letters and symbols would make the cheekiest monogram: at least 15 minutes. Owning a swishy bag accessory: priceless $35.

Cuyana Leather Bag Tassel in Smooth Leather, $35; cuyana.com.

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Biblical Candles

1) They've got cool names like Melchior. 2) One (Melchior, coincidentally) smells of myrrh, so you can have a olfactorily correct Christmas if you want.

Cire Trudon Odeurs d'Hiver Holiday Coffret Scented Candle Set, $210; barneys.com.

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The Lighter to End All Lighters

OH LOOK—so convenient. This is the prettiest lighter we ever did see, which you can flip open and shut until someone picks a fight with you. #diversion

Tsubota Pearl Tortoise Lighter, $35; shop-tetra.com.

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Chartreuse PJs (I went there)

Challenge: Make a work outfit from these. It can be done.

Maison de Papillon Classic Silk Pajama Set, $534; maisondepapillion.com.

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Ridiculous (in a good way) Coat

This is one of those things you buy, and every time you look at it, it gives you joy.

Carven Heavyweight Cocoon Coat, $1,750; barneys.com.

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Puzzle Bag

You can sling it over your shoulder like a backpack, collapse it into a clutch, and carry it as a regular top-handle bag. You can also squish and un-squish it like a very expensive bellows.

Loewe 'Small Puzzle' Multi Suede Bag, $2,190; nordstorm.com.

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Hoverboard/Hoverbort

LOL.

Hoverboard 360 Smart Balance Board XL, $698.99; hoverboard360.com.

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Book

Let Lisa Eldridge tell you how your perma-cat-eye came to be.

Abrams Image Face Paint: The Story of Makeup, $18.94; amazon.com.

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Personality Canister

You know what to do.

Food52 Japanese Copper Cocktail Shaker, $94; food52.com.

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Cube o' Fresh Air

It's a natural air freshener, so set up a standing appointment to "recharge" it by leaving it out in the sun once a month, then plop it on your desk.

Chikuno Life Black Chikuno Cube, $29; totokaelo.com.

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Animals

Give a dog or cat a good home. Never be alone with your thoughts again.

ASPCA adoption; aspca.org.

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Mobile

Because we're all just oversize babies, if you think about it.

Fort Makers Multi Wood Circle Mobile 1, $600, totokaelo.com.

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