Seriously, though: If you just put the released scenes in order and fill the rest in with your imagination, you can save yourself, like, $20 and at least a little embarrassment.
The much-anticipated Red Room of Pain makes a cameo in Today's Fifty Shades clip, and we must say the tufted walls look rather pleasant and luxurious in a Dita von Teese sort of way. Anastasia Steele is not quite so into it, however, probably because she used context clues when Christian called it his "playroom" and logically guessed it contained his "Xbox and stuff." So wrong. (Fun fact: Malaysia banned the movie precisely because of what goes on in the, um, playroom, calling "the content...of a woman being tied to a bed and whipped" sadistic.)
Take the chopper and fly far, far away, Ana. *hisses in a Gollum voice* He called it his "playroom."
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You should also check out:
You Know That "Enlighten Me" Moment in 'Fifty Shades'? Now You Can See the Whole Scene
Christian Grey Offers Anastasia Steele "an Internship" in This New 'Fifty Shades' Scene
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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