Marie Claire Plays "Shag, Marry, Kill" with the Spring Trends from Fashion Week

Or, "How to Lose Friends and Make Enemies with Your Coworkers Over Clothes."

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Like that time when Joe Jonas was made to play "Shag, Marry, Kill" with his ex-girlfriends but with only slightly less feeling, here is Equipe Marie Claire doing the same but with the top trends from New York Fashion Week Spring 2017. Read the transcript of the team-rending exchange below (sorry for what I said when I was fashion-y), and join in on the fun via our social channels.

Round 1: Sex, Ruffles, and Rock 'n' Roll

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Sex: Jeremy Scott, Adam Selman, Hood by Air; Ruffles: Rodarte, Delpozo, Diane von Furstenberg; Rock 'n' Roll: Rebecca Minkoff, Coach, Misbhv.

Samantha Leal, senior editor: I'm going to need more pictures of "sex."

Pictures of sex (the Fashion Week kind), including this close-up of a sexAY Adam Selman print, are provided.

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Jessica Pels, digital director: I would shag rock 'n' roll, marry ruffles (SO MUCH PRETTY), and kill sex (no shade to HBA, they're very cool, just...jizz in the hair is not my particular jam).

Samantha Leal: Yeah, irony: Kill the sex, f*ck the ruffles, marry the rock 'n' roll. I do not want to walk around with jizz in my hair, nor is that an aesthetic I endorse. Ruffles are too girly for me, but I could wear them on occasion (wham bam), and long live rock 'n' roll.

Jessica Pels: That is so you.

Lori Keong, assistant editor: I think I second Jess. Like the rock 'n' roll, love the ruffles.

Rosa Heyman, social media editor: Marry ruffles, f*ck sex, kill rock 'n' roll. Marry ruffles because they're fun, so even if you lose the sexual spark together, you can still share LOLs over afternoon tea and get a silly little dog. F*ck sex because it would probably be the best in bed in this category. Kill rock 'n' roll because the trend makes me feel insecure.

Samantha Leal: Rock 'n' roll is clearly the best trend, and anyone who disagrees can FIGHT ME.

Round 2: Shoulder, Shoulder, Sternum

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Off-one-shoulder: Monse, Brock Collection, Carolina Herrera; Shoulder cutouts: Tibi, Monse, Zimmerman; Bra tops: Michael Kors, Altuzarra, Alexander Wang.

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Samantha Leal: Kill cutouts, f*ck one-shoulder, and marry bra tops. Cutouts because I would definitely put my arm through those goddamn cutouts.

Chelsea Peng, assistant editor: So true.

Samantha Leal: F*ck one-shoulder because I love a good comeback. Marry bra tops because my goal is to bring back the Selena Quintanilla look. Let's add some RHINESTONES.

Jessica Pels:F*ck bra tops (so trendy, so soon-to-be-not-trendy-anymore), marry off-one-shoulder (timeless! chic!), kill shoulder cutouts (see previous re: trendiness).

Lori Keong: F*ck shoulder cutouts (I like the idea, but would not live with it), marry bra tops (love it, always a place for bra tops), kill off-one-shoulder (I don't find it flattering and kind of hate it).

Round 3: Red Fish, Blue Fish, Yellow Fish

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Red: Oscar de la Renta, Proenza Schouler, Rodarte; Yellow: Tibi, Sies Marjan, Creatures of Comfort; Blue: Proenza Schouler, DKNY, Jeremy Scott

Samantha Leal: F*ck red, marry yellow, kill cobalt.

Chelsea Peng: But cobalt is so good, Sam!!

Samantha Leal: I know, but it's the only name in there that is trying to put on a show. It's blue. YOU BRANDED IT WRONG.

Lori Keong: Marry red (classic, so chic), f*ck cobalt (great trend), kill yellow (I personally can't wear it for skin tone reasons).

Samantha Leal: Can I just ménage-à-trois them?

Rosa Heyman: Kill yellow, because I hate it. F*ck red because it's hot. Marry cobalt because it seems the most intellectual.

Samantha Leal: All I'm saying is I like all the colors. In an ideal world, my original answer stands. But in practice, I'd kill yellow and marry cobalt because my skin doesn't really work with that shade so much. And everyone is gonna f*ck with red.

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