Ew: Your Birth Control Is Causing Infertility and Gender-Switching in Fish

WHAT DID I JUST DRINK?!!

Okay, so this is pleasant: You take The Pill. You use the toilet. You flush. The sewage system carries your waste to who-knows-where, but it seeps into the streams, rivers, and lakes around your town, where the fish then ingest it and become sterile/develop both male and female reproductive parts. Welcome to We're All Going to Die When the Mutant Guppies Rise Up!

According to a recent report from the U.S. Geological Survey, it's the synthetic hormone 17a-ethinylestradiol that's causing infertility and intersexuality in aquatic creatures, translating to as much as a 30 percent drop in the number of baby fish being born.

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"If those trends continued, the potential for declines in overall population numbers might be expected in future generations," Ramji Bhandari, a visiting scientist at USGS, told the Washington Post. "These adverse outcomes, if shown in natural populations, could have negative impacts on fish inhabiting contaminated aquatic environments."

Gulp. But actually don't, because then you'd be drinking in your neighbor's Prozac or cocaine or ecstasy, which all pollute our water in trace amounts. It's not like we can ban oral contraceptives, so how are we going to save the fish? HOW ARE WE GOING TO SAVE OURSELVES? Come on, science—THINK.

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