How to Be Instantly Engaging

4 minutes to social success

By Rebecca Shambaugh

Four Minutes
I once read that you either connect with a person or don’t within the first four minutes of when you meet them. It only takes them that long to decide if they want to stay engaged with you or move on. Moreover, this is even true for people you know well! Here are a few tips for being instantly engaging:

1. Be attentive by focusing on the other person completely without distraction. I think that we forget the importance of doing this because we are so used to multitasking and dividing our attentions. But tuning out all but one thing for that period of time can be both challenging and rewarding.

2. Convey appreciation by saying something to the other person about what they’ve done or by doing something physical—a handshake or high-five is about right at the office. Sometimes it’s as simple as a nod of the head, a note or e-mail of acknowledgment, or a mere “thank you.”

3. Assert affirmation, which means to be true and express your level of understanding and commitment to others. Provide a response in a positive and supportive way.

Rebecca Shambaugh is the author of It's Not A Glass Ceiling, It's A Sticky Floor: Free Yourself from the Hidden Behaviors Sabotaging Your Career Success