Posted in:
October 1, 2008 11:53 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: Sure, I enjoy cake in the afternoon, but do I have to pitch in for every
coworker's birthday, even the people I'd never talk to outside the office?
Dear Sugar Mama:
In this penny-pinching, efficiency-conscious era, the expensed birthday cake has
fallen by the wayside, along with pension plans, free holiday turkeys, and, in
one office where the Coach used to work, pens. (But, damn it, I drew the line at
printing out on both sides of the copy paper!) Show your face from time to time
out of respect for your fellow working stiffs--you don't want to be known as the
office misanthrope. And pitch in for the ones you really consider pals--or at
least trusted colleagues--and when you know they're springing for the primo
Italian bakery and not the local Stop & Shop. That said, I also believe in
honor. No dough, no cake.
Posted in:
October 1, 2008 11:35 AM by Unknown | COMMENTS
I hate blow drying my hair but it's one of those tasks that just had to be done (unless of course I want to look like an un-groomed toy poodle). On days when I'm running non-stop from meetings to appointments to after work events, I want my hair to look glam so I wake up extra early to get it just right. It never ends up looking like a salon blow-out but who has time on those busy days to pop into a salon at lunch?
Well, no need to now. I thought my hair prayers had been answered when I heard that Bumble & Bumble was opening their doors at 7:30am for blow outs! Yep, their Early Bird Blow Dry Special is available 7:30am - 9:30am, Monday through Friday at their uptown salon:
146 East 56th Street, NYC.
The best part? It comes complete with complimentary breakfast. Coffee anyone?
Posted in:
September 24, 2008 9:50 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: My consulting firm just oversaw the downsizing of a client, and the
company--or what's left of it anyway--was so impressed by my insights that
they've offered me a job. The survivors there are going to hate me, knowing I
helped oust their friends. How do I warm them up so they'll be happy to work
with me?
Dear Axe Man/Woman: Looked at another way, your beneficence has spared all of them,
so maybe they'll treat you like Ra, the Sun God. Your bigger problem is that
they'll suspect you're there to spy on them and find further
"redundancies"--i.e., can as many of the remaining workforce as possible. Maybe
you're really good and can win them over with your brilliance and sparkling
personality. But you might be better off passing up the offer and staying on
with the consultants--or as an old boss of mine referred to their ilk, "Capons
who tell roosters how to screw."
Posted in:
September 19, 2008 10:17 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: Although none of my colleagues knows it,
I'm going through a divorce. I'm an emotional wreck at work, acting irritable
and sobbing in the bathroom. Should I share what's going on or keep my problems
to myself?
Dear Working Girl: Couldn't you use a little daytime support? Much goodwill can be
bought with a simple, "I'm sorry, but I've been going through some stuff lately.
It doesn't excuse my behavior, but I'm hoping you'll cut me some slack." You
don't have to share with everyone--perhaps someone you're close to, or even just
the office town crier, who'll happily disseminate on your behalf. As regards the
boss, unless you have a long-standing relationship, spare her the details and
focus on logistics: "I may need to take some personal time soon. I'm divorcing
my husband and have meetings with his scum-sucking lawyers." Be sure to explain
how your work is going to get done (ultimately her real concern), à la "Debbie's
agreed to cover for me every other Tuesday during the custody hearings."
And
remember the Coach's wisdom: If you don't have baggage, it means you haven't
traveled. Or, less eloquently: Everyone's got their shit.
Posted in:
September 18, 2008 1:14 PM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: What's the best response when a recruiter asks in an interview how much money
you make at your current job? I know everyone lies, and I'd like to get in on
that, but I don't want to aim too high and blow the deal.
Dear Money Maker: The Coach knows
all your tricks. If you duck the question by saying, "What I'm looking for is .
. ." that means you're currently underpaid. Go the "my total compensation"
route, and that means you've calculated in your health insurance, 401K match,
and the occasional stale coffee roll left in the office pantry. Remember, an
experienced recruiter has seen hundreds, if not thousands, of people in your
field, so he pretty much knows where you are. I expect interview-ees to
exaggerate by 10 to 15 percent, so just go ahead and save us the dance. But if,
after stating your salary, you hear me gasp or laugh (and I've done it
occasionally when interviewing people from a company I fondly call "Our
Irrational Competitor"), dust off the résumé again. You overshot--and shot
yourself in the foot.
Posted in:
September 15, 2008 7:15 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: I'm about to take a leave of absence for a medical procedure, and I don't want a coworker who's been eyeing my job to steal my spot. How do I make sure my boss remembers me while I'm gone for a few months?
Dear Out of the Office: Pro sports teams have an unspoken code that you can never lose your spot in the lineup due to injury, just by playing badly. If only it worked that way at the office. I have seen bosses who just can't let that returning maternity-leaver back into the inner circle, or who flat-out avoid the employee coming back from chemo. Cruel, yes, but for many bosses it's out of sight, out of mind. Federal law gives you certain safeguards during a medical leave, and depending on the size of the company, your length of service, and the state you live in, you may have even more. But that's not to say the boss won't still make it hard for you. All you can do is check in with the office regularly, have a speedy recovery, and pray that those covering for you show mind-boggling incompetence in your absence.
Posted in:
September 9, 2008 1:09 PM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: My team recently got a new director who has us do bonding and trust-building exercises, like telling revealing personal stories. I feel uncomfortable doing this. How do I bow out without looking like a whiner?
Dear Teammate: Is the rest of the team as squeamish about this as you are? Maybe a few of you should meet with the boss and say that, thanks to all those exercises, you trust her enough to tell her you're uncomfortable with this stuff. If she persists, come to the next session armed with some "revealing" stories that are just personal enough. The time you dropped the entire tray of birthday cupcakes with a character-stunting crash in second grade: good. Winding up naked with the Domino's delivery guy last week: not so good.
Posted in:
September 8, 2008 10:42 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: The younger staffers in my office feel entitled. They leave on time and get sullen when I ask them to go above and beyond. When I was starting out, I killed myself for my boss. How do I get them working like dogs?
Dear Boomer: Hmm, maybe by not referring to them as "dogs." Workplace experts have been exploring the shift between Boomers, Gen-Xers, and Y-ers. What they're finding, for starters, is that the younger generations see a workplace that offers little in the way of commitment (consider: downsizing, outsourcing, freelance-heavy staffs), and they're returning the favor (this is the friends-with-benefits crowd, remember). Furthermore, as the generation reared on getting trophies simply for showing up, they've enjoyed a lifetime of coddling, so they hunger for constant attention, affirmation, and frequent promotions. For a happy and productive Y-er (pretty much anyone in her 20s), think idealism and mentoring. They love a green office, so charge them with ramping up the recycling program. Let them cut out early now and then to work at a soup kitchen. Rather than testing them, teach and support them, and you'll get them working harder. Maybe not as hard as you, but then again, there's also a chance they won't adopt your Celexa-and-Sancerre habit either.
Posted in:
September 4, 2008 4:08 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach: My boss just offered me a promotion, which means working with a supervisor who doesn't like or respect me. Should I mention the problems with the little boss to the big boss?
Dear Moving On Up: No. Part of moving up in the ranks is the expectation that you can work things out for yourself. It's likely the immediate supervisor signed off on the promotion, signifying her willingness to move on, so get to work mending fences. Ask her out for lunch and, if you share my facility with bullshit, even offer, "I'm looking forward to us working together, and I know your support for me was one of the main reasons I got this job." Let her think you owe her a little bit; get her invested in your success. Then start working your ass off on that new gig.
Posted in:
September 2, 2008 4:29 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach
While my supervisor has been on maternity leave, I've stepped up and become the leader of the department. There are no positions between mine and hers, and I know I'll be bored out of my mind when she returns. Is it reasonable to ask for a new title, or at least a raise?
Answer
The title and the money are side issues; the key point is you say you'll be bored out of your mind when she returns and you have to go back to your old duties. It's possible they can shuffle some things around to get you more responsibility, and it's certainly not out of the question to ask for a bonus to cover the months that you were doing your supervisor's job. But you've seen Paree, kiddo, and there's no going back. It's time to think about making a move, within the company or outside of it. You're ready.
Posted in:
September 2, 2008 4:29 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach
Sometimes I like to take a snooze for 15 minutes during my lunch break, either at my desk or occasionally in the stairwell. Bad career move?
Dear Sleepy
CC's first job featured a Dickensian colleague who kept his door shut from precisely 12:15 to 12:45, and it was known to all simply that "Hal is napping." (Hal also ate a tuna-fish sandwich for lunch every single day for 45 years and eventually died of mercury poisoning, no joke).
But a power nap is something else. Just curious about the stairwell: Do you sleep standing up, like a pony? These new open floor plans make it so difficult to handle such essentials as clipping nails, logging onto tmz.com, or catching up on needed Zzzs. CC himself, when the vapors hit, has mastered the art of swiveling his chair away from the throngs, plopping his feet up on the desk, thinking of the beach, and disappearing for a half-hour or so. Not a crime.
Posted in:
August 29, 2008 11:00 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach
I have this annoying colleague who simply won't leave my office. I've tried the usual tricks, like not making eye contact, glancing at my computer, not offering her a seat, or shuffling papers, but she doesn't get the hint. Other than calling security, what can I do?
Dear Annoyed
Ah, yes, beware The Lurker, who yearns to tell you the latest on her potato-salad recipe, her children's backyard
Pirates of Penzance, her herbal remedy for IBS—who delights most in spending 30 minutes explaining how busy she is. If you have an assistant, warn her that after the predetermined allotment (four minutes!), she is to interrupt you regarding a pressing appointment. If you have no assistant, you'll have to enlist a sympathetic colleague down the hall. Once your space is violated, immediately send a Code Red e-mail to your friend, which she knows means to phone in precisely four minutes with something "urgent." CC would love to tell you that The Lurker will catch on and immediately shorten her stays. She won't. Steel yourself for a siege.
Posted in:
August 26, 2008 2:51 PM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach:
One of my coworkers makes racist jokes — and seems to think I won't be offended because we're in the same ethnic group. I don't want to be a scold, but how do I get this to stop?
Answer:
Speak up. "You know, Ivan, just because we're both Bulgarian doesn't mean I think the one about the rabbi, the priest, the traveling Bulgarian lightbulb salesman, and the farmer's daughter is funny" is a good start. When you remind him that "jokes" like this go down about as smooth as cherry Kaopectate with the good folks in HR, he'll be thanking you for the job-saving heads-up.
Posted in:
August 26, 2008 4:15 AM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach:
I've been with my current company for seven years but am now moving on. How do I leave on a good note for everyone?
Dear Leaving Your Job
Things in life rarely end as we want them to, and leaving a job is no different. If it goes smoothly and without rancor, consider yourself the exception. There's no mandate about how much notice you should give—two weeks is merely customary, no more set in stone than the third-date rule when it comes to sexual congress. Assuming that you respect your employer and care on what terms you leave, you should offer to finish any projects you reasonably can and get past any looming deadlines, whether that takes 10 days or three weeks. More than that is pushing it, as you're walking dead to them soon enough. Conversely, if you're headed to a major competitor, they may ask you to leave as soon as possible, even that day. CC has never witnessed seized Rolodexes or armed guards escorting anyone from the building, but it happens.
Posted in:
August 22, 2008 12:03 PM by Cubicle Coach | COMMENTS
Dear Cubicle Coach:
When we're on deadline, our manager often makes the work of those with young kids a higher priority so they can be the first ones to leave. I get that juggling parenting responsibilities and work is tough, but I shouldn't have to pick up the slack for my overextended colleagues, should I?
Dear Non-Breeder:
It's not about who's a breeder and who isn't. It's about who has earned the perk — through great work, seniority, ass-kissing, or whatever your particular office values. CC's experience is that those with kids use the workday more efficiently than most. Gone are the lunchtime shopping expeditions, the visits to the gym, the gabfests around the coffeepot about the meaning of last night's "very special" episode of Big Love. And remember, young thang, the day may come when you need your officemates to spell you now and then on account of kids, a sick parent, a rehabbing spouse, or just those Tuesday and Thursday night MBA courses. Here's hoping that you've accrued sufficient good karma with the breeders by then.
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