13 Things We've Learned From Living Alone

By Eileen Conlan

1. Blouses that button up the back are Satan's greatest triumph.

2. It's amazing how quickly one person can go through a roll of toilet paper.

3. OMG, the hair in the drain is all yours.

4. Dinner tastes better eaten pants-less, standing at the sink.

5. A Slim Jim and a Snack Pack pudding make for a really satisfying meal.

6. Alone time makes you philosophical: If I eat this wedge of cheesecake and no one is here to see it, did I really eat it?

7. It's easy to go 48 hours without speaking.

8. Things You Can Now Do Naked:
Dice, disinfect, dust, vacuum, hang, knit, crosswords, read, play Wii, shop online, bank online, blog, file taxes, prune indoor garden, macrame, sweep, whittle, blow glass, watercolor, glaze, sculpt, polish, refurbish, rewire, Tae Bo, role-play, Google, play darts.

9. What to Netflix while you're waiting for the cable guy to show up: The Money Pit, Funny Farm, Grey Gardens, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Station Agent, and season one of Big Love (for the days you miss having roommates).

10. I Need To Do That? Professionally shampoo rugs once a year . . . dry-clean drapes every two years . . . defilm the coffeemaker every three months . . . deodorize the microwave monthly . . . change bedsheets weekly.

THE STATS
11. TAKE THAT, SMUG COUPLES: In general, married women experience more depression than do single women.

12. TRY A PET ROCK: 76% of animal hoarders (think 19 dogs, 32 cats, and a zebra in one house) are women, and over half live alone.

13. BEWARE THAT DIPTYQUE (and for godsake, don't light a vanilla one): 18,000 home fires are started annually by candles.

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