Update, 6/29: HILLARY. What have you done?
Grillary/Chillary Clinton has just restocked her online store with summer merchandise, and it is like a millennial candy store or Urban Outfitters—same thing. That is a koozie above. For beer. That says "amirite." There are also flash tattoos and a spatula that not only brands your meat with her logo but also functions as a bottle opener.
Pssshhh. And they say she's out of touch with the people.
Original post, 5/26: Ever since Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy, every old dude with a political science degree and a standing appointment on cable television has been like, "Yes, yes. According to my calculations, she now has to downplay her accomplishments and ambition so she can win this popularity contest." So, by golly, she went and recruited Beyoncé. She got a chicken burrito bowl at Chipotle. She made Brooklyn her campaign HQ. And on Tuesday, she opened her online store and waltzed straight into America's heart.*
*exaggeration, but as everyone knows, self-deprecation and puns are definitely how she'd get there