Here Are Some Things That Make Me Look Really Single

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It was a great Labor Day weekend, but one that reminded me that I'm very single. So I've collected all the things that remind me I'm the singlest of single into an embarrassing but honest list. So, in no particular order, here are the things about me that cry out that I'm single:

No Responsibility

Remember my epiphany I had when I was at the Starboard last year in Dewey Beach on my boys only trip down to Dewey Beach? I had another one. Funny how drinking for 7 hours in perfect weather can do that to you. As I stood in a circle with my buddies, only interrupted by random girls asking for champagne to be poured down their throats, we discussed our friend Bob. Bob had left early, missing "Suicide Sunday" at the Starboard-our biggest party day of the year. Two of my friends are married, one's engaged, and one has a serious girlfriend. Our guess was that Bob had to return to the wifey ASAP on this joyous Sunday. My response to that was:

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"Damn, I'd hate it if I had responsibility to anyone on a Sunday."

The other guys looked at me, the only single one in the group, and let out jealous sighs.



Acting Like An "80-year Old Woman"


A few weeks back I was speaking with a co-worker about my Friday night plans. I was worn down, so I planned to stay in. I also mentioned my "domestic responsibilities":

"Well, I'm obsessed with this new basil plant I have so I have to make sure I put it in the sun early Saturday morning. What's more, my cats are kinda pissed because I've been away for a bit."

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"Cats, and a basil plant on a Friday night," she questioned? "You're like an 80-year old woman".

Ouch. But, I wish I was like an 80-year old woman, because my basil plant would be yielding many more leaves than it currently is.



I Tell My Best Friends and Sisters About Cool Little Things

My advertising agency took part in an agency-vs-agency soccer tournament. We came in second out of sixteen teams. Honestly, I have no idea how we did it. But at the bar as we celebrated, I grabbed my phone and texted my sister and my friend Justin about the good news. Maybe some day I'll have a girlfriend to text that stuff to? Sometimes I just text Justin about the weather. Hmm, maybe I'll still text Justin a lot after I have a girlfriend.



I Have Enough Money To Live


Once I dropped $95 on a random date and maxed out my credit card while having no cash in my bank account and had to walk home because I couldn't afford a $2 subway ride. Lately, I've been doing OK-not great, but OK. This is because I haven't had to buy dinner or even go on random outings with a girl-it all adds up.

Skipping Showers

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror after one of my "shower benders". I'll go a few days without showering, holed up writing music or words or reading. My friends are with their girlfriends and I'm left to my own devices in my apartment. So, why shower? No one cares how I look. I'm thinking when I have a girlfriend, I'll definitely need to shower more often. But, hey, my gay hairdresser-Ricardo-tells me I should let the natural oils in my hair do their thing from time to time. That's why I do it. It has nothing to do with laziness.

When I think of my , it just boils down to a girlfriend being someone I am responsible to. When I was younger I thought the right girl would just click for me and I wouldn't have to make an effort. But, even friendships require responsibility, so I can only imagine what a serious girlfriend will command. But, if I can remember to rotate my basil plant so it gets the best sun, maybe I won't be such a bad boyfriend.

So, you single people-what is one trait or behavior about you that makes you look really single? I openly admit: I'm not the most responsible person right now. Do you think that you will be more prone to be in serious relationships when you become more responsible?

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