My friends and I have spent many a long night brainstorming that magic formula of characteristics that drives the ladies wild. It is impossible to know just what the mixture is supposed to be, but is there one characteristic that can work alone to make a guy really attractive?
Here are the characteristics we've come up with:
Sense of Humor
Everyone says how important sense of humor is, and I have learned to look for it in women. I am lucky enough to be able to make women laugh, but I'm still super-single.
Trust is the holy grail of a relationship. It takes years to build it, and it is so delicate. There are few things that take so long to attain that can be destroyed so quickly. So a lot of us may finally settle on a very trustworthy person when we finally find that.
This seems like a no-brainer, but I've seen plenty of girls stay with guys who don't treat them well. So, I'm thinking that most women look for a nice guy, but the fact of the matter is that mean guys seem to get girlfriends too — and at a better rate than nice guys.
I admit it: I sometimes envision myself marrying rich and sitting there doing nothing. I could lie out on my wife's yacht and host lavish parties and hear about how crazy the Roaring '20s were, when my wife's friends were my age. Money is definitely high on a lot of people's list: Remember when Anna Nicole Smith married that really old rich guy? I doubt it was because she thought he was hot, funny, or great in the sack.
As much as we hate to admit it, the first thing we notice about someone else is how good or bad they look. But one of the first lessons we learn in the dating world is as beautiful as someone is on the outside, they could be ugly on the inside.
Confidence is based on a lot of these characteristics. You are confident if you are talented, super-hot, intelligent, or wealthy, most likely. But confidence also enables you to treat people better, so you are kind and trustworthy as well. Because confidence includes so many of these other characteristics, it may just be the one major thing women look for in a man.
Talent and Passion
When someone possesses a special skill, such as visual art or guitar virtuosity, they get tons of girls. People like Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and Tom Brady can go out with anyone they want because they are skilled. Hell, I'd go out with them. Usually skill occurs in tandem with passion, another attractive quality.
When someone is really good at something, but not "hot," it makes sense that they can still attract a lot of women. It's less annoying to see someone like this in a relationship than it is to see a rich mean guy in a relationship.
I am intimidated by women who are more intelligent than I am (which explains why I'm intimidated by about 97% of the female population). For a lot of people, intelligence is sexy. When someone is stupid, it's frustrating and boring, which is enough to drive someone away.
One can argue that convenience is a huge driver for a relationship. Does he live near you, is he "ready" to be in a relationship, does he want to have kids or not? Everything matches up correctly. Sure, he may not be the best-looking guy or have a lot of money, but it's just what you need and it's been a long, difficult search.
If we put these characteristics on a pie chart, what would get the biggest piece of the pie with you? Again, some of these characteristics occur together: intelligence and wealth, talent and passion, kindness and generosity, convenience and wealth.
How often do women care about superficial things like money? It's scary, but sometimes I fear that no matter how funny I am, if I had lots of money I could date any cute girl I wanted.
How do all of these characteristics shake out for you when choosing a boyfriend, and are there any you'd add to the list? Does confidence alone take all of these characteristics into consideration?