I Texted 15 Guys on Tinder Using Only Carrie Bradshaw Quotes and Here's What Happened

Later that night I couldn't help but wonder...was paying $9.99 for Tinder Plus really a plus?

More From Sex Tips for Women
20 articles
GIF
The Best Porn Podcasts to Download Now
The Types of Porn Women Really Watch
Tips for Improving the Cowgirl Position

In a space already oversaturated with "heys" and low-stakes "lol sup" messages, coming up with the right thing to say on dating apps can be hard. How do you start a chill conversation without overthinking things?

Thanks to a general rut with *looks at hand* "casual dating", I decided to let Carrie Bradshaw run my dating life for a day. The rules were simple: I'd only talk to guys using the OG HBO queen's most iconic (or cringeworthy) lines. The results? Much like the show's breaking of the fourth wall, there were inconsistencies.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

1. The Martini Man

More From Sex Tips for Women
20 articles
GIF
The Best Porn Podcasts to Download Now
The Types of Porn Women Really Watch
Tips for Improving the Cowgirl Position
I Tried Kegel Balls to See If They Worked
Marie Claire's Ultimate Sex Playlist

A very fair answer to an iconic line, tbh.

2. This guy who man-splained monogamy.

If a tree falls in a wood and no guys are there to unpack monogamy as a concept, did it really happen?

3. This people-pleaser.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Thank you, I know it's asking a lot.

4. The guy who witnessed the most embarrassing autocorrect typo of all time.

You and I both, buddy.

5. This guy who was quick to call me tf out! Damn!

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

I respected him for calling me out until he circled back 21 hours later with that last bit.

6. Mr. Fifty Shades of Silver

Most Popular

Honestly, my own fault for expecting anything less from a dude who used ";)" and "Lol" (with a capital L — everyone knows "lol" lowercase is ironic and Cool)

7. The guy with the panda suit.

Is the panda thing a race thing or what's up with that?

8. The (only) guy who figured it out

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

He negged me by calling me a Miranda and honestly, it worked. I gave him my number and he ended up facetiming me immediately so love is truly dead.

9. The Shakespeare enthusiast

Cool...I too had to read Hamlet in the 10th grade.

10. The man who was...intrigued

I love when guys say fancy shit like "intrigued" online because you know IRL he doesn't even say anything when he flips you over halfway during sex. But yeah, tell me how intrigued you are, old sport.

11. This ... guy

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

A good...sport.

12. This realist

Most Popular

I mean, it's kinda true.

13. The "pro-dildo" guy

Bummer that I was in such a rush to whip out one of Carrie's infamous sex lines that I didn't even READ what he had said correctly. But good to know that this guy is proudly "pro-dildo". I don't know any women who are "anti-masturbation" for men, but plenty of guys who think they're special snowflakes for acknowledging that women masturbate.

14. The man who thought I was fake.

No, sparkle-emoji-user, I am very real!

15. This defeatist.

*Sigh*

In the end, I was thankful for Carrie's lines. Having a script erased a lot of the pressure I feel when trying to drum up conversation with a stranger. The experiment underlined the fact that most guys are at least willing to *try* with conversation — even if they're just doing their best to respond to weird, cryptic monologues. If so many people will vibe with Carrie's corny ass, it's not like I'm going to be hella judged if my opening joke doesn't land.

The emotional one-liners were also really fun, because who among us isn't looking for a soul mate? Women especially spend a lot of effort trying to look chill and casual ("Hahaha I also am dating like, six other people right now, lol, it's cool! Don't worry, I definitely did not talk about you like you were my boyfriend to my family or anything!"). Using Carrie's quotes was a fun way to vicariously live out any and all no-chill fantasies I had about leading with my true monogamous freak flag.

I will admit that I felt a little guilty about the experiment at first. I'm someone who is baseline always a little scared that guys are trolling me (Is every hot guy who's ever hooked up with me just doing so for some sick She's All That-like bet?). But then I remembered the guy who took Carrie's infamous "some women aren't meant to be tamed," line as an okay to segue into talking about handcuffs, and then I don't feel that bad.

Follow Marie Claire on Facebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.

From: Cosmopolitan
More from Marie Claire: