I've always had trouble taking things one step at a time. I realized this affliction spilled over into dating during a recent phone call with my mom.
I was told that my cousin and his wife would be naming one of their twins "Tom," which brought a sigh of relief for me-for it was not any of the baby names that I've picked out for my babies.
I then told my mom:
"wait, maybe I should go on a date before I reserve baby names."
It's tough to get anything accomplished when you create future ideals, especially when these ideals require a number of steps to get there. On the other hand, it's important to have goals in mind; but, with dating, maybe these goals should not be so far off in the future.
Whether I'm on a long drive alone, or listening to a moving song, I keep getting inspired to plan these two things, even though I'm single:
I've got a couple of things figured out.
I want it to be outside and during a "transition" month-Spring or Fall-when things aren't to extreme. I'll probably push for Fall, because I think it's the most romantic season.
I'm going to save the cost on a DJ and hook my iPod up to the giant speakers. I know what the people want late night: dance music-Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, etc. I have a couple of songs I want to have them play when my wife walks down the aisle and also the recessional song-I'd like to exit the ceremony with the piano ending from Derek and the Dominoes/Eric Clapton's "Layla". Then I have a few song ideas to enter the reception with the bridal party and groomsmen. Finally, I've figured out a bunch of first dance songs: "Sleepwalk" by Santo and Johnny, or maybe "In My Life" by the Beatles.
I have some ideas for the actual wedding too. There will be tons of food-too much food, and definitely a raw bar. Raw bars just make people happy. Again, I know what the people want: tons of food and booze-top shelf, open bar.
There will be some nice little nuances: a disclaimer on the bottom of the program that states: "Don't Worry, This Ceremony Won't Take Any Longer than 15 Minutes," or maybe I'll just put a time stamp next to each event:
0:00-0:45 Bride walks in
0:45-2:00 The guy doing the wedding talks
2:00-3:00 Exchanging of vows
...and so on.
Finally, I want to put "He Went To Jared" on the front of all my wedding invitations.
My friend Margaret rolls her eyes at my ideas and says: "bless your heart if you think your future wife will let you have any control, or do any of that stuff."
I'm not that bad-my one buddy says he wants to sprint into his reception, separate from his wife, to Van Halen's "Panama"
My sisters and cousins and I sometimes discuss baby names. Thing is, some of them actually have babies. I get more and more nervous with each baby: will one of my names be taken?
So far, I have a few daughter names: Claire, Maria, maybe Eleanor, so I can call her Ellie.
For boys, I like Jake, James, William.
But I don't know if I'm allowed to put a stake on these names considering my older sister and both of my cousins are having babies-they are like factories! One of my names is bound to be taken!
I guess baby steps are required to, some day, make babies.
What I mean by that is: I should probably meet a girl and ask her on a date before I start planning my wedding dances and naming babies.
It might be a dangerous way to think too-maybe it makes me put too much pressure on myself when I get into a relationship because I have all of these ideals and goals set up, and I can't focus on just having fun in a relationship.
Plus, I wonder if girls will think I'm psycho if I'm thinking that far ahead.
Would you be turned off if you met a guy who confessed that he had these thoughts? I'm sure you imagine the future as well: what things do you imagine and plan out that you don't tell a guy? Have you planned out parts of your weddings, staked names on babies, or other such "down the road" things? Do you think it's dangerous to think of that stuff when you're single, or do you think it's good to have an idea of how you'd like things to be some day?