My lovely readers:
On Friday, I mentioned a new study (published in the latest issue of Psychological Science) which found that, among other things, the mere act of physically approaching a potential partner seems to increase the amount of attraction we feel for that person. So when I walk up to some cute dude and introduce myself--or make a conscious choice to pursue him in some way, and then act on that decision--he automatically seems more attractive to me, as a result of my pursuit.
On the other hand, if I can get someone to approach me, I will seem hotter to him.
So ... now all I need to do is to get dudes to walk on up to me. But how to make that happen? Sure, strangers do randomly ask me out, now and then; and sometimes, they're even totally hot! But since I'm no Scarlett Johannsen, no Selma Hayek--and nowhere near as attractive as some of my gorgeous friends--it has occurred to me that a gimmick might help.
And, as it just so happens, I HAVE a certain gimmick in my possession.
Or, at least, I have this awesome "goals" shirt--similar to the one pictured--which I have made into a gimmick.
The shirt says:
I WILL ____________ by _______ 20_ _ .
The idea is that the person wearing the shirt will fill in the blanks with a certain important goal, as well as the month and year by which she plans to achieve it.
So, for instance, you might write: I WILL READ WAR+PEACE BY DECEMBER 2011. ... Or ... I WILL QUIT SMOKING BY AUGUST 2009. ... Or ... I WILL RUN A MARATHON BY NOVEMBER 2012.
I came into possession of the shirt after spotting a woman, in line behind me at CVS, wearing one like it. Hers said: I WILL WRITE A BOOK BY APRIL 2010. I thought it was cool that she was into writing, so I asked her if she'd made any progress on her magnum opus. (She hadn't). We chatted a bit more ... and by the time I say good-bye, a dia-blog-ical idea had come to me.
I booked it home and tried to buy a shirt online, but wasn't having any luck finding one for sale; so I contacted the company who makes them: LuLuLemon A thletica. The incredibly nice folks there--who read the blog!--told me the shirts were no longer in stock, but they'd be happy to dig one up for me. The sweet PR person over there, Carolyn, popped one in the mail to me ... and it arrived weeks ago ... and as soon as it did, I wrote my goal on it, with great verve and excitement:
I WILL FLIRT! BY 2009.
I left the month part blank, in the hopes that whomever might set eyes on it would get the picture: I am trying to flirt right this minute, bucko! As you read! So why don't you help me out by flirting right back?
The problem is, I've had the gorgeously soft shirt about, oh, I'd say 21 days now? Yeah. And I have not been able to wear it out of the house ONCE.
I carried it around in my bag all weekend, and kept thinking: I'm going to slip into the bathroom at this coffee shop and put it on. Or I'll change into it once I get into the gym. Or You are going to put that thing over your tank top, so help you Zeus, right before going into the book store, or no computer-use for a week! Or Please? Will you puh-leaze just put it on for 5 minutes, just 5, at the Fourth of July BBQ? Please?
But did I ever actually wear it?
No, I did not.
And here's my question to you guys: Is it absolutely deranged of me to even consider making myself into a flirtation billboard? Ladies, would you wear a shirt like this yourself--a shirt that more or less announces you want to flirt more? Guys, would you? (And what would you think if you saw someone wearing it?)