4 Things That Got Me In The Mood To Date

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desire for independence,
fear of commitment, fear of success, and the vast

array of people and experiences in this huge world are all factors that

contribute to me not being in the mood to date 90% of the time.

But the

other day, I realized I got into a "dating mood" because I did a few things

outside of my comfort zone
(and it had nothing to do with watching a romantic

comedy). Over the past week, the

following actions put me in the mood to date:

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I Took

A Walk, Alone


means: no friends, no iPod, and

kept my phone in my pocket. This

allowed me to hear the sounds of the city; surprisingly, there were pleasant dating sounds. The

weather was nice, and the sun was going down. I heard snippets of conversations amongst outdoor diners, and

the clanking of glasses and plates creating a dissonant but inspiring

"restaurant sound" symphony. I saw

the dating world clearly on my walk, and I wanted to be a part of it.


Didn't Talk To My Best Buddy For A Few Days

My best

friend is basically a girlfriend
minus the physical attraction (well, maybe we

are attracted to each other). But

really, we talk about everything all the time. We criticize celebs, talk about

our friends, and every day life:


was Tom Brady wearing during that interview?"


Dion is awful, but I can't stop watching her on YouTube because I'm strangely



you believe Jenn is with that guy?

Her ex was the best thing that ever happened to her. Oh well, who am we to judge?"

"I am

so tired of Time Warner Cable's terrible customer service. Let me tell you the ways they've horns

waggled me." (insert 20 minute story)


recently went away with his girlfriend and was unavailable on text. I realized that I text my best friend

all the mundane things that I should be texting a girlfriend:


in line behind Fred Savage at the coffee shop"


day out today"


stop listening to Queen on my iPod, and I don't know why"


significant other is your own personal Twitter vent. You share little snippets of life and thought with them,

because no one else will care or understand how these snippets are part of

you. Lucky for me, I have a lot of

guy friends that I converse with in this manner. But, without my best guy friend available to vent to, I felt

a void, and realized that actually dating a girl would fill that void-even when

my best was around.


Didn't Talk To Fellow Jaded People


you think and talk about something enough, you begin to believe it. I have a legion of jaded friends who

believe they will never meet the right person. We feed off one another, and we find comfort in our

complaining. Conversely, my

friends who are dating rarely talk about how "great" things are going. It's easier to complain, so I

hear more from the jaded friends.

Strangely, I took a break from talking about how annoying dating was, and how there are no good people out there, and it refreshed my mind.

I Talked

To and Met Lots of Women In A Short Period Of Time

During my

"Man In The Street" segment for Marie Claire, I interviewed a lot of women, so

eventually it took the edge off approaching them. It was like riding a bike-I

had gotten rusty, and just a few hours of talking to women got me back to

feeling comfortable. It turns out dating is not about approaching one girl in

hopes of getting a date-it's about meeting lots of interesting girls, with no

. It's really not that

tough if you keep doing it and don't let yourself get into a funk.

It's easier to complain about dating, talk to my buddies about everything, approach

just a few girls when I'm out, or close myself up in my iPod/cell phone bubble

when I'm on a walk. The four

things mentioned above, outside of my comfort zone, removed blinders, and I realized channeling my energy in

a different way would get me into a dating frame of mind. I actually got into

the mood to date for the first time in a long time.

Do you

agree that sometimes we are in the mood to date, and sometimes we are not? If so, what kinds of things get you

into the mood to date? Do you

think any of the above things would get you in to a dating mood?

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