On Halloween night, I was talking to a girl dressed as Popeye's main squeeze, Olive Oil. We chatted for about 20 minutes, and I dropped a smooth line:
"That's a great costume, can I get a picture of you?"
She was flattered, and happy to oblige. But when she smiled and posed, I couldn't help but focus on her amazing boobs. I decided I had to take a picture of them and send the picture to my buddy just to say "hi" because he was at a different party. I aimed the camera down and took a snapshot. But she must have noticed. She said:
"Did you just take a picture of my boobs?"
I thought for a second. Then I gave a sheepish and unconvincing:
But it was over. I didn't talk to her the rest of the night.
Those early moments meeting someone, and even it's just a few dates in, are so sensitive. Things can turn on a dime. It can be something stupid like my Olive Oil debacle, something accidental, or just a simple misunderstanding that gets you to that point of no return.
Once you hit the point of no return, you can't get out of the pickle that you've gotten yourself into. It's best to just walk away. Because someone does not know you well yet, you don't have much margin for error.
Here are some examples of dating point of no return:
I'm often guilty of loading up on liquor out of nervousness and anticipation for that special someone to arrive. Any chance I had goes down the drain as I slur my words and talk about who knows what. Then the next day I wake up, not remembering what I said, but with that awful empty feeling of: "I did something bad last night and it's over with that girl."
Profession of Love
I've been able to control this point of no return move, but I used to get a little "overzealous". I'd get in her face and tell her I "loved her" or had a "huge crush on her". One time in college, I finally met this girl I wanted to talk to and I proceeded to reveal her "nickname" my friends and I made up, and the strange nickname origin involving a video game character. Many times, drunkenness fuels the profession of love.
One time I was leaving a message for a girl as I was crossing the street, and hit a falsetto as I almost got hit by a cab. I then gave her the play-by-play of my Frogger-like journey between cars and bikes for about 15 seconds before I finally got to "so, was wondering if you wanted to get together some time". That was the first time I called her. Yeah, I didn't get called back.
Even the smartest people make the occasional dumb comment. It's hard to turn back once you're labeled "dumb" early on. There's nothing worse than that feeling you know someone thinks you're dumb, and there's nothing you can do about it.
So you're trying to play it cool with that person you like, and trying to make it look like you have your own life by being "distant". But what happens when you randomly run into them somewhere? Sometimes, it's cute and fun when this happens, but it can also be awkward and a little stalkerish in their eyes.
Be careful after you add that person of interest to your Facebook. Facebook updates and pictures can make their way back to them. It's hard to control what they see. And then there's the dangerous email "auto fill," that may lead to someone seeing an email they are not intended to see. I once sent strange and vulgar instant messages to a girl I thought was my buddy. Horrible. There are a many ways the internet can destroy, from an accidental mouse click, to unwanted information getting back to someone.
Your friends know you're not really stupid, or crazy, or boob obsessed (OK, maybe I am), but that new person of interest has little history with you. They can't say:
"Oh, that's just them being ridiculous; it's not stalking, insanity, or stupidity."
If someone really likes you, you usually make it through little mistakes and misunderstandings in the beginning. But sometimes a little mistake is irreversible, it's best to just walk away.
Have you ever made any little mistakes like the ones I mentioned above? Do you ride out the mistakes, or do you just save face and walk away? What actions have guys done that pushed you to the point of no return with them?
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