Unwanted hair causes so much drama, and it can be a deal breaker. Shaving that hair is risky because it can say what Obi Wan Kenobi says in Star Wars before Darth Vader kills him:
And it does! It comes back stronger and thicker. To combat the strange powers of unwanted hair, you must pay attention to many factors, most importatnly the type of hair removal you use. In my experience, waxing is temporary, electrolysis is a bit more permanent, and the jury is still out on whether laser is completely permanent. Hair removal is a frightening process. While I'm not familiar with the details of a Brazilian, for example, I was reminded of the brutality of one by a sign in my neighborhood in front of a salon:
If a Brazilian requires similar treatment administered in the Civil War for amputations, it can't be fun. Men are given a free pass because, as the ugly gender, gross hair comes with the territory. Women are expected to shave legs and armpits while men let those areas flow free. Shaving is a necessary evil, because letting freakish hair grow in an unwanted area is even more evil.
Here are problem spots on men:
It's no secret that my eyebrows are simply too big. I've been controlling those puppies for years: electrolysis, laser removal and waxing. My latest attempt was a trip to Bliss, a hardcore spa on Broadway. A nurturing Eastern European lady waxed my brows, and then I was no longer afraid to wear my hair short. I was moved to wax my brows after my friend said I'd be "really cute" if I made them smaller. That's enough for me to spend the $40 a month on it. I need all the help I can get.
I'm lucky that my back is hair-free. I wonder how unlucky guys with hair on their back manage to get past it with their significant others. At some point, a woman must just decide to accept it. Or does the guy charm her up so much in the beginning that a rug of hair on his back doesn't drive her away when she finds out?
I happen to have one solitary hair on my chest that I've become quite attached to...even though it's attached to me. When I was growing up, I thought a hairy chest was a sign of manhood, considering the number of unsavory things that would figuratively "put hair on my chest." But now I'm happy I don't have to deal with hair there.
One day, on the beach, my Jersey friend (Jersey guys are quite particular about their body hair) told me I had to shave my nipples. It was true; my nipples were like octopi, with hairs popping out like tentacles. Nowadays, I run the razor over them while getting ready to hang out with a woman I might be intimate with...but I do fear I jinx my chances when I make assumptive shaving moves.
Michael Phelps shaves himself up so he can ease through the water. But the only guys I've seen, other than swimmers, that shave arms and legs are meathead body builders. I'd feel naked if I shaved my legs and arms, and I think I'd be required to turn myself orange in a tanning salon.
Recently, a bunch of us were going to an outdoor party and my friend Margaret warned guys with "bad feet" not to wear flip flops. Part of having bad feet meant hairy toes. I admit I have some hair on my toes, but not enough to be gross I guess, because Margaret approved my flip flop look. Because women wear sandals and get pedicures, I'm sure they end up shaving toes sometimes.
It's crazy how my preference for women shaving down there has changed with the times. My 1978 Playboy (my first "always accessible nudity") was full of women that did not groom down there, and it didn't bother me. Now, for some reason, the trend has shifted; I assume most women shave down there.
I asked a female friend if I should be shaving down there, and she said I should be "trimmed". I'll take a look and comply, because I don't want to be the subject of any girls I make out with laughing with her friends about my poor trimming.
What are your least favorite spots to find hair on a guy? Which spots are deal breakers? Are you cool with your guy grooming the spots I mentioned?
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