The morning of my SATs I stumbled half-asleep out of the house and into my car, forgetting the ticket I was supposed to bring to get into the exam along with the number 2 pencil to fill out the answer sheet. Upon arriving at the testing location, I was able to bum a pencil off a friend, but there was no way around the forgotten exam ticket. I had to call my mom on her day off from work to have her drive 35 minutes down to give me the ticket.
The call was not pleasant because my mom yelled at me and put a huge guilt trip on me. But this was to be expected. What I didn't expect was my mom pulling up, still in her nightgown. She rolled down the window, and dropped the ticket out onto the curb without even stopping the car or saying a word. Needless to say I didn't come home for a few days out of fear.
You'd expect me to improve myself and get my ducks in a row since age 17, but I haven't. I rely on women as "mother figures" all the time. I take them with me to shop, I ask them to clarify vague financial puzzles such as "interest rate," and I ask them to take care of other things for me. My friend Margaret is my tailor. She actually did a great job fixing some pants for me. I always "throw in" with my sisters for Xmas gifts for our parents, without even looking at what we are buying-- they can do all that work.
Do women want to take care of a guy? I could argue that it's a radical shift in thinking: I don't expect to be the bread winner in a relationship. This is the opposite of old fashioned in my book. But, at the same time, I don't enjoy responsibility. That's never good.
When there's an event, I rely on the women attending the event to tell me all important details pertaining to the event. I just don't like keeping tabs on all of this information. I want someone to do it for me. It's almost like I need a personal assistant.
The other day, my friend was showing me pictures of her beautiful friend who makes a lot of money. I told my friend my fantasy: I'd sit at home all day watching Tyra while the beautiful girl made money, and then bask in her beauty when she came home. But I doubt this girl would want to support my fantasy life.
Here are the reasons marrying a "mom" are appealing to me:
I Like Things Taken Care of For Me
I guess I became spoiled over the years. I figuratively love the crust cut off my bread before I eat my peanut butter and jelly.
I Want My Girlfriend To Tell Me How Great I Am
Yes, I'm insecure. So, I want to date someone that supports me unconditionally despite me not being super hot, my lack of success and all other shortcomings I have in life. My mom loved me, despite my C average in school: I want my girlfriend to love me despite my C average in life.
I Need Help With Real Life
Credit cards are designed for people like me; we forget to make $15 payments and hate reading small print. Not only do I need someone to read life's small print for me, but I need someone to decipher it and motivate me to do something about it.
I'm convinced that I will never know how to effectively organize my life, so why not date someone who can take care of all that for me? Even if I was organized, I bet my future wife would want to organize me in her own way anyway. But there's a fine line between friendly reminders and reminding, and nagging. I hate being nagged!
In reality, it's best for men and women to learn how to take care of themselves before a relationship. While it would be nice to be taken care of, the best relationships involve two independent, self-sufficient people. Sure, there will always be certain things that people need help with (finances!). But if you get into a relationship in order to be taken care of, it's a bad reason. Stay single until you have figured out how to take care of yourself to be fair to yourself and your potential significant others.
Is it unattractive when guys seem to be looking for "mom" in dating, or is it endearing? Have you ever dated a guy who needed a "mom" figure, or is it something most women try to stay away from?
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