I always thought I'd learn the ins and outs of love from married people who have been through it all. So I pay close attention to what these "successful" people say about their experiences.
But the things the successful people say are tough to emulate.
Here are common things I've heard from couples regarding meeting the right person and settling down:
He's unlike any of the guys I dated all through life.
I guess my dad's different because he's not good looking, but at least he's not a jerk.
This statement makes me think I can overcome a girl's "type". According to many couples, people go for the same type for a long time only to end up with someone who is a different type than they ever dated.
Perhaps this should motivate me because I could be that new type of guy my dream girl never tried out before...or I could just be rejected because I'm not her type.
Ugh, I didn't like him at first," or "He was so annoying at first."
I love this one. I have a friend who said this guy who was pursuing her was "annoying". But she kept going on dates with him. Her Facebook page chronicled the progression of their relationship: dating, in a relationship, engaged.
Why would you get engaged to someone who annoyed you?
Many women I talk to say they "didn't like him at first," about their significant other. I guess this is kind of natural-it takes a while to grow on someone.
This encourages me to go for the scores of women who I annoy at first...and trust me there are a lot of them.
"I was dating someone else, but then I met him."
I've always envied the guy who can walk into a woman's life and render her relationship with the other guy meaningless. It's not so romantic, despite being the formula for many romantic comedies.
In a sense the new guy is opening the woman's eyes to a new world, to caring about someone on a higher plane, in a deeper way.
So should I try to break a girl up with her boyfriend? Common sense tells me not to try to do this, but anything's possible, right?
"He kept trying, and we just ended up together."
Persistence usually doesn't pay, but I guess it does in some cases. This doesn't bode well for my "call her once and don't call again if she doesn't call back" policy.
To me, persistence means creepiness. Why keep trying when she doesn't seem in to it?
But some couples tell me that they would not be together if it were not for the effort and persistence of one of the two.
I guess this is romantic, but I don't know if I can handle more than one rejection. The best chance of this happening is if two people remain friends through the many rejections, I suppose.
"I knew they were the one as soon as I saw them."
Honestly, how do people do this? I want to walk into a room, lock eyes with my dream girl, and mutually know that we are the ones that will make each other happy forever.
Problem is, I've thought many girls I lay eyes on at might be "the one," and I'm always wrong. I tend to make stories up in my head while gazing at a cute girl-- psycho.
Maybe these people are just making it up. It's easy to say it after the fact-hindsight is 20/20. Wow, I'm bitter.
Looking at this list, it seems that things either happen right at the moment when people meet, or the two grow on one another over a period of time.
My theory is that the whole stupid dating world is random. One day maybe it will just happen-maybe not the way I want it too, but I'll see a friend in a different light, run into an old friend who I start dating, or experience love at first site.
What are your thoughts on the statements above? Do you agree they are common statements among married/dating couples? Did you feel any of these ways upon meeting your significant other?
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