What He Thinks About Your Shoes

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Lovelies:

As those of you who hang out on my Facebook page know, I did a number on my ankle last week. (Here's how Batman and Robin's animators might describe what went down: Twist! POP! Owwww-ch!) Thanks to this sprain, I've been relegated to sneaker-ware for the past 6 days — even flats seem a bit dangerous, since they could get caught in a sidewalk crack and cause me extreme pain — and it looks like I'll have to keep my feet as close to the ground as possible for the next little while. And yet, alas, I'm not a huge fan of sneakers-as-fashion. To help get me through this period of convalescence in style, I asked my male friends: Do sneakers ever look sexy on the ladies? If so, under what circumstances?

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1) THE SPORTY LOOK

My 34-year-old architect friend who lives in a small college town says: "NO sneakers on girls." He, like me, likes the looks of ladies in heels. But I pressed him on the matter and he said, "Come to think of it ... IF they're running sneakers and the girl in question is a little sweaty and wearing VERY short shorts with RACING STRIPES? I like that." (emphasis his)

2) THE PUNK-ROCK LOOK

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My 30-year-old (unconventional) i-banker friend from Manhattan says: "I'm a sucker for a girl wearing high-top Chuck Taylors with cutoff jean shorts ... or without them. It's a great city look."

Another variation on that style: "High-top chucks and a mini," says a 26-year-old New York friend who's in marketing. "It's punk but feminine — similar to what girls who wear Uggs with skirts are trying to pull off, although I think they fail spectacularly."

3) THE TENNIS-CHIC LOOK

The very same 26-year-old says he also digs short pleated skirts with tennis sneakers — I imagine this has to do with certain This Side of Paradise associations; a woman in that kind of outfit exudes an air of wealth and privilege.

A third male friend — a 31-year-old academic type — says he, too likes little skirts with little sneakers. "The skirt is sexy, allowing for a good view of the leg, but the sneakers suggest down-to-earthiness," he says.

4) THE HIPSTER LOOK

Another 26-year-old, who works on Capitol Hill, says: "Skinny jeans and very flat sneakers, please. Avoid sandals for the most part; too many of them look like gladiator footwear these days. Simple is best."

hipster girl with celeb friend
5) THE URBAN TOMBOY LOOK

This is something of a variation of the hipster look.

6) THE RICH-GIRL-ON-SUNDAY LOOK

A 36-year-old urban lawyer friend agrees. "Bright white low-top Chuck Taylors with tight blue jeans? Hard to beat that." Although he's not picturing hipsters wearing such things, but rather "fancy SoHo chicks out doing their Sunday shopping. They'd finish off the look with silk scarves and corduroy jackets."

This kind of look makes me want to gag and yell "Get a suburb!" But to each his own.

7) THE MAURA KELLY LOOK

ALL of my male friends get an "F" in the "gives enough attention to Maura" department for not mentioning one more VERY hot sneaker look: myself, in flared-leg jeans and my trusty old Stan Smiths (which I've literally owned for close to two decades — they're amazing). Although I suppose I should let all the dudes off the hook, considering I don't think any of them have ever seen me in anything but heels.

Which look do you wanna to rock?

xxx

If you just wanna rock, may I suggest some vintage David Bowie, for no particular reason?

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