Like most women in their late 20s and early 30s, I have been asked the incredibly annoying question, "So, when are YOU getting married?" way too many times. Whenever someone puts that to me, I find it really annoying — and I feel really defensive.
And I know that I have it easy, living in super-liberal New York City — other ladies in other parts of the country (and the world!) get single-women's-least-favorite-query a lot more often than I do. So when I came across the section in Seeking Happily Ever After about how we should all have a smart comeback handy, I smiled.
As author Michelle Cove says:
"For singles, this has to be one of the most annoying (and cliché) questions — and even more so when the perpetrator is someone you hardly know ... or who has no business asking you in the first place. Why should you have to explain to your second cousin once removed why you're not marrying your boyfriend right now? (Or why you don't so much as have a boyfriend?) After all, you don't ask her about her love life or why she stays in her marriage, right? Well, sadly, you can't stop others from asking, but you can have a stock answer ready so you never feel taken off guard."
She goes on to cite some of the best answers she has heard:
- The witty response: I will get married the day that Barry Manilow joins Metallica.
- The bug-off response: You'll know when I know.
- The response that will shut people up fast: We'll get married the day people stop asking us about it.
Cove goes on to say that if you have a line like the ones above on hand, it will spare you any emotional trauma the next time someone asks you your least favorite question.
What would I like to say the next time some nosey parker inquires about my marital status? Maybe, As soon as I raise a cool one million through my Wedding Fund Drive! Would you like to contribute? Or, As soon as the Rolling Stones agree to be my wedding band. Or, As soon as Mr. T. says yes to my offer.
Groan, groan — I know. But folks, if you have better answers — and I know you do! — please share them with us so that we can borrow them in a time of need.
May Cupid bless you for your generosity.