Years ago there was a stigma with meeting people on dating sites. These days, with the rise of social networking, it's more accepted. Outside of the regular dating sites, one could argue that adding a friend on Facebook is grounds for online dating-especially if you're like me and friend adding is as important as getting a phone number.
I can't bring myself to join a dating site. I have no issues with people who have joined them-my cousin met his wife on a dating site.
I have my reasons for not signing up:
First of all, I don't want extra help to meet someone. I am afraid signing up for a dating site is an admission that I could not meet a girl and attract her on my own. However, plenty of people have trouble meeting that special someone.
Secondly, like I just wrote, I'm looking for a storybook meeting and relationship. The mechanical world of online dating doesn't allow for this story. But perhaps after a few dates that grow out of an online setup, that story happens.
Finally, even though people are on the site to date, what are their ultimate intentions? Are most people on dating sites looking for something serious? Marriage? I'm not sure how serious I want to be at this point.
So there's an argument from both sides, and maybe I'll get over my reluctance to join a dating site.
When used correctly, dating sites are an additional source for meeting people. It's not about desperation, in my opinion. Here are some reasons people join dating sites:
They Have No Time
This is a classic reason for joining a dating site. Some people are so busy with work or other life responsibilities that there is simply no time to go out and meet people/date.
My cousin is a good example of this. He's a hardcore lawyer (while I'm sleeping until noon, he's prosecuting people for murder) and he had to join a dating site as a tool to help out with that part of his life.
They Think They Have No Game
I referenced my friend Jenn recently. She pulled me in to her office and told me she had joined a dating site, and it felt like a landmark moment in her life. I asked her what motivated her to sign up for a dating site and she replied:
So, why not get some kind of agent to help, I suppose? It's a shame that dating the "old fashioned way" has pushed my friend in to not believing in herself like that.
They're Fed Up With the Meet Market
After a while, going out to bars to meet people gets frustrating. For me, it's going out, barely finding anyone interesting and collecting numbers that never amount to anything. You're never sure what anyone is thinking in the Meet Market-it sometimes feels like you're spinning your wheels.
The Meet Market is much more difficult after college ends. In school, it was easy to find women-they were plentiful, and we were in our own bubble. But these days, in the professional world, people are distracted and, once you meet someone, it's rare that you run into them again randomly like you might have in college.
My friend raves about how his friend "gets laid so often" since joining Match.com. I suppose if two people on the site are willing, and match up, then why not?
They Want A Singles Environment
On a dating site, you can avoid the mystery you usually have to deal with. You never know what's going on in someone's head when you're hitting on them. Naturally, people on a dating site are looking, and they won't mind if you hit on them or contact them.
They Want A "Sortable" Experience
It's tough for me to find cute girls who like good music, or have similar interests. On a dating site, you can cut to the chase and streamline your search so you can find the most compatible person based on interests, tastes, etc.
Do you agree with my reasons people join dating sites, and my reasons that I'm hesitant to join them? What reasons do you thnk people join dating sites?
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