To all of you who have written in about orgasms (and there are a lot of you!):

Many of you are not having orgasms from sexual intercourse. I know that this can be frustrating, especially because we think that we are "supposed" to have them. But one of the things that no one really tells women (especially when we are starting to become sexually active) is that the majority of women (around 70%) do not have orgasms from intercourse alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax. So it doesn't matter how wonderful your partner is. This isn't about your partner; this is about your anatomy! While it is possible to have this during sex, vaginal penetration on its own will rarely get you sufficiently stimulated. (If it does, consider yourself lucky!) Men and women are simply built differently; for males, thrusting during penetration is pleasurable and can get them to orgasm. But in order to help you achieve orgasm during intercourse, try sex positions where you or your partner can manually (with hands or a vibrator) stimulate the clitoris. (BTW, there is a new finger vibe on the market from Trojan called "Vibrating Touch" –Vibrating Touch. Also, much of how a woman responds sexually is mental. If you are so desperately focused on having an orgasm, you can psych yourself out of having one altogether! But if you masturbate and know how to get yourself to orgasm when you are alone, try to incorporate some of those moves into intercourse. Show your partner what works and hopefully this will bring some additional pleasure to you during intercourse.

Do you have a question for Logan? Email her at AskLogan@MarieClaire.com.

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