10 Reasons Why it Sucks to Have Your Birthday on Valentine's Day

I am on the verge of my thirty-something birthday and I'm dreading it as usual. Not only because I'm getting older, but because Valentine's Day is the worst f**king day for a birthday. By Erin Toland

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Sharing a birthday with Valentine's Day was cool when I was younger because all I wanted was candy anyway and my friends could actually come to my birthday party—children don't usually snub you for a date when they're seven. As I got older it progressively got suckier for the following reasons.

1. It's not just MY day, it's every girl's day.

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2. It's a made up holiday where the shape of hearts you see everywhere are actually the shape of women's bottoms turned upside down.


3. My mother was very close to naming me Candy.

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4. My friends are always busy with their boyfriends, girlfriends, or lovers.


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5. I'm reminded in early January of my impending age as pink hearts increase in appearance in every store window.


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6. Dinner reservations are a pain to get.


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7. If I do get a dinner reservation, it's likely a prix fixe menu with some sort of heart-shaped food and a Chocolatetini as themed cocktail.


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8. I have to buy my husband a present too. That's crap.


9. I do NOT want chocolate as a present for my birthday.


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10. The day after my birthday is signified by discarded, half-dead flower bouquets and bins of half off chocolate at my local pharmacy.


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