Would Your Guy Cheat? Would You Know?
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The Cheaters' Wives
Redbook: Let's talk about your wives.
James: Let's not. [Laughs] Okay, I'm freshly divorced after five years of marriage. At the beginning, before we got married, it was a crazy, passionate whirlwind, and we got caught up in that groundswell and got right into marriage. We met one April, got married the following April, and we were married for five and a half years. Regrettably, we had a child almost immediately not that I regret my child, but her arrival hardly gave us a chance to really be husband and wife for very long before becoming Mom and Dad. It got really serious really quickly.
Nathan: I've been married four years and met my wife through business she's a PR director so we were professional colleagues at first, then dated for four years before getting married.
Mark: My wife and I dated for about seven years before we actually tied the knot. We lived together for four years before getting married, but she was constantly pushing me to get married. We've been married for about three years, but we're on a hiatus. It doesn't look good.
Sal: I've been married for four years. I dated my wife for two years, and we have two kids. I wouldn't call our relationship passionate, though. [Laughs nervously] It's like I gave up on the passion because I wanted something long-term. Once I saw 40 coming I decided it was time to, like, get it together and have the kids.
Redbook: How are your sex lives?
Sal: Mine's pleasant. When I first got married, my wife's friends' husbands said to me, "So, you're still getting laid regularly?" I'm like, "Yeah, why?" They said, "Well, the first year you get laid regularly. The second year she says, 'How about I just jerk you off tonight?' [Laughs] The next year she watches while you jerk off. And thereafter you're on the couch by yourself in private."
James: I can't be as eloquent as Sal, but I agree with him. For the first eight months the sex was never under two hours; it was constant new things and exploration. And then it started getting less regular, especially when she got pregnant. After our daughter came, it just dropped off totally. Initially I thought it was a phase that all relationships go through. I just assumed, "Okay, well, we won't have it right now because she feels ugly and fat." I figured it would come back around. It never really did.
Mark: I had the same thing. My wife said, "I need space; we have to work through some problems; I'm going to sleep in the guest room." She was having an identity crisis, and I kept thinking she would eventually come back and our sex life would start up again, but that hasn't happened. It's been like this for a year now, and there have been no "conjugal visits."