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January 19, 2010

Would Your Guy Cheat? Would You Know?

married couple kissing

Photo Credit: Simon McConico/istock

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No Guilt

James: We can all think of excuses to rationalize why we do what we do. And the truth is, we could all be very happy at home, but if it's the right moment at the right time, we're all done in by lust.

Sal: Speak for yourself. You need to learn how to separate love from lust. It's really not that difficult, and the guilt eventually disappears.

James: Yeah, there was an iota of guilt when I cheated, but not enough to stop me from doing it again.

Redbook: How can you say you felt guilty when you stayed with her for four days?

James: Because you pump yourself up for the challenge, get caught up in it. But then there's the aftermath, when you feel that what you're doing isn't right.

Mark: Yeah, the moment after you've finished! [Laughs]
James: Exactly. It was very small guilt, but I just felt it was part of my idiom, who I am. No one gets married thinking they're going to cheat. I thought I was with the love of my life but learned within 13 months that I wasn't. I would have ended the marriage sooner if it hadn't been for our daughter.

Sal: You know what it is? You're married to a tall blonde, you want a short-dark woman. You're married to a model-thin woman, you want big breasts. [Laughs]

James: That's a fact. We always want what we can't have.

Mark: I got over the guilt when I realized that part of being a guy is, you never do anything right in your wife's eyes anyway. I am totally underappreciated by my wife.

Redbook: Are you all saying that cheating is a biological inevitability for men?

Sal: No more than for women. Men are such idiots, because they think they are the only cheaters. Quite a number of the women whom I cheated with were married.

James: To say it's biological is too easy.

Mark: I agree. I know guys who don't cheat, but I know more men who do.

Nathan: Infidelity is not inevitable, but I think fidelity is a gift you give to somebody that you have to work hard at continuing to give. [Shouts of "Hear, hear!" and toasts]

Getting Caught

Redbook: Do any of you ever worry about getting caught?
James: When I was married? Of course. I was worried all the time.
Mark: No, but I do live in fear, and that's the thrill. Doing what you're not supposed to be doing — and the threat of getting caught — make it very exciting.

Sal: I almost got bagged once, and my stomach dropped. But I kept my voice steady and lied. You'd have to be an idiot to admit anything.

Mark: What is the advantage of admitting it? What do you possibly have to gain by admitting it?

Sal: You might as well just wait until you get caught, because let me tell you something: Getting caught lying is not as bad as getting caught cheating. You might as well lie.

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