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January 19, 2010

Would Your Guy Cheat? Would You Know?

couple in bed

Photo Credit: Blend Images Photography/Veer.com

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Redbook: In all cases?

James: Yup. Deny it all. Deny it all.

Mark: It's the American way. One of the great things about Clinton is that he denied right up until the point he was basically in front of the impeachment committee. You've got to give the guy credit for having Herculean balls.

James: Absolutely. That's a good point. About a year after we got divorced, I brought my daughter home one day, and my ex-wife and I actually sat around bullshitting, and she said, "You know, you did cheat on me, didn't you?" I said, "Absolutely not." I will never admit it to her face.

Redbook: So let's turn the tables: How would you feel if your wife cheated on you? Do you think you'd know if she had?

James: If she had — and I'm positive she didn't — I'd probably have felt worse about the perception it would have created about me: that I don't satisfy her. I would have perceived it as more of an ego blow than a commentary on the state of our relationship. I don't believe she ever cheated on me; that's not her style. I think I would have known. Her movements were utterly predictable. Then again, we all think we're getting away with it. [Laughs]

Sal: If my wife slept with someone because they were drunk, and it was only once, I would deal with it.

Mark: You're full of crap! [Catcalls ensue]

Redbook: Now, now. Let's keep it clean.

Sal: Doesn't matter. I know she hasn't.

Nathan: You hope you'd know.

Sal: It's a total crapshoot if you know someone is cheating. Sometimes you can tell by their eyes or the way they put the coffee down.

Mark: My wife is incapable of dealing with the guilt I live with every day. I would hate for her to ever feel as terrible as I do most of the time.

Nathan: Well, I evened the score, and I feel like I gained a level playing field with her, for us to equally decide if we will stay together. So far it seems to have worked.

Redbook: We've talked a lot about how you feel about the chase, and how you feel about yourselves and your needs. But how do you feel about your marriages? Do you all still love your wives?

Nathan: Yes, very much so. Despite all that has happened, I love her very much.

James: When I first started cheating, I knew I didn't truly love her anymore. I realized I had made a mistake getting married and having her believe I was the one for her. We all deserve more.

Sal: Absolutely 100 percent, I love her. I love her, but I'm a dog.

Mark: I don't. The woman I fell in love with and married no longer exists.

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