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Doing the Facebook-Stalk

Doing the Facebook-Stalk


All right, so here it is, Wednesday morning--a full week after my date with the Hard-Hat Hottie (a.k.a. Triple H) and no word.


Obviously, Triple H is not hot for my body. And I guess, when it comes down to it, I'm not that hot for his either. I considered sending him a text message--something low-key and not too desperate--like: Want to get together again sometime? or Can you please tell me what is so wrong with me that you couldn't at least ask me on a second date? or Am I fundamentally flawed in a permanent, glaring, revolting way AND IS THAT WHY YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME???


But then I decided, eh, not really worth it. I'm not sure I myself would be able to function through a second date with him. (And then there's the whole terrifying prospect of facing another kiss!)


Now, none of this stopped me from Facebook-stalking him last night ... and what did I find? First of all, that he is not, shall we say, particularly gifted when it comes to the English language. But second--more interestingly--his relationship status is listed as "It's Complicated." (Which is a status I hate. Is it just me, or does everyone feel like talking back to that status and saying: Well, then, DE-complicate your sorry self, all right? Get your act together! And stop trying to sound so self-important! If you think I'm being unfair about this, please let me know.)


But the thing that surprised me most? Learning that he's a father! Yes, indeed. There are pictures of him with two little girls, and the comments people have left are all about how cute he looks with his daughters.


Obviously, none of this information is THAT crazy, considering I'm not interested in the guy--although if I was, I think I'd feel a bit uncomfortable dating a divorced dad. And while I have had a few rude Facebook awakenings (mainly of the OMG-he-is-now-dating-someone-else-and-it's-so-soon-after-we-broke-up!! varitey), none of them have been on the magnitude of finding out someone was cheating on me, or living a secret life, or that he was really an international spy, et cetera, et cetera.


But this makes me wonder: What's the craziest bit of information YOU've learned about your boyfriend or love interest or office crush thanks to old Fbook?



PS: Some shout-outs to the readers: Christina, I think chronic bad breath is a deal-breaker! I just couldn't do it, anyway. But if you can, you are a better woman than I. ... And Clare H.: welcome! I will do a date movie post before long. ... Jessica: Best way to let a guy know you're in it for the long haul and not just a one-night stand? I hate to be a buzz-kill, but maybe hold off on the sex till Date #2 or #3. (I think that question deserves at least a post or two of its own, though, so stay tuned.) ... And Edwinna: Feel free to cheer me on, and keep telling me to put myself out there! Not that you have to, of course. But I appreciate your support!

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