The Death of the Blind Date
By Laura Cohen
It is with a heavy heart that we officially declare the Blind Date dead. Blind Date, which had been quite ill for some time, died from a variety of causes including Google, social media, and online dating.
Blind Date—officially known as a social engagement between two people who have not previously met, usually arranged by a mutual acquaintance—lived a long and prosperous life. It has been the pivotal plot point of many a Friends episode, the inspiration behind MTV classics hits like Parental Control, and even the common response from millenials when asked "How did your parents meet?" But, the sad truth is that while they refer to the Blind Date for their entire reason for existence on this planet today, these young adults have little idea what that means, for this generation did not get to meet our dear, old friend, Blind Date.
It was a glorious time when one pal could say to another, "I know a guy who's perfect for you, I'll set you two up." Blind Date was always there to assist. Blind Date was ready to dim the lighting at that restaurant down the street, gently encouraging two strangers to coyly approach one another and say, "Hi... Are you... I'm..." and then follow up with nervous laughter. Blind Date made sure to ensure an air of mystery, stomach butterflies, and a sense of exciting anticipation—which are all sadly in critical condition, as well.
The dark days began in the 1980s with the invention of the Internet. Blind Date was a little scared, but remained faithful in our basic desire for human interaction, so it continued to feel secure in its place in society. The 90's brought a little more apprehension, when Google stormed in and threatened Blind Date with its technological abilities. Within years, new forms of social media and online dating joined in on Blind Date's downfall.
The suggestion of a Blind Date turned into a Google search on one's personal computer, which then turned into a quick search on one's smartphone. In under one second, the potential dater could easily locate the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and various online dating profiles of their potential date. This new sort of "Blind Date" was not blind at all—it was useless asking where your date was from, went to school, did for their most recent birthday, or if they have a pet. You already know. Sometimes, Blind Date was already over before it even began. A Twitter full of moody song lyrics or an Instagram full of mirror selfies told daters everything they needed to know before even meeting their potential match in person.
The Blind Date was somewhat revived in recent years, but not in its true form. People began referring to the Blind Date again, but when meeting a Tinder boo or the cutie from Match.com. Perhaps this new generation was unsure of what a Blind Date actually means, or maybe it just sounded more noble than saying they found someone online. But it was all a sham, because the Blind Date was already dead the moment two daters locked eyes at the agreed-upon bar and knew exactly who the other was—not because of the electric shockwaves of heat and passion that connected them, but because she found his college club baseball photo on the second page of Google Images.
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