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30 Signs You've Been in Your Relationship For a Ridiculously Long Time

If you're not married, all your friends think you are.

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1. You sleep with separate blankets.

2. You can tell him he’s driving you crazy in a totally normal way without fighting about it. "Haha seriously, though, f*** off."

3. You get in the shower with him in a completely nonsexual way just because you’re late for work. Saving time and the environment.

4. Your text history is just about groceries (womp). 

5. You trade sex acts for house chores. Not that taking the trash out wasn't sexy to begin with, but. You know.

6. You have a shared Google calendar.

7. "Sexy pajamas" means shorts instead of flannel pants. Or shrunken frat tees.

 

 

8. You wear pimple cream in front of him like it ain't no thang.

9. At parties you communicate exclusively in knowing glances.

10. He doesn’t even TRY to bring home anything with raisins (or whatever ingredient you don't like) in it anymore.

11. He knows to not talk to you before 10 a.m. on the weekends. Unless he's going to make you coffee for sex (see #5.)

12. You can tell him not to speak to you for an hour and he understands. And vice versa.

 

 

13. You have never used Tinder because it didn't exist seven years ago.

14. He hangs out with your family and friends even if you can't be there. Because if you're not going to watch football with your dad, someone has to.

15. You don't understand why people who date don't talk to each other on the phone like, ever.

16. He doesn’t have to ask you what you want from Starbucks because he already knows. 

17. When he calls your cell phone he knows instantly if you’re still at the office because he recognizes your “work voice.” 

18. You can wear a nightie or your oversized PJs on lazy days and he won't call you lazy or get turned off.  Well, maybe he'll get turned off, but he sure as hell won't say anything.

19. He refers to your family as his family too, even if you aren't married yet.

20. You walk around the house in face masks like it's nothing.

 

 

21. He texts with your dad. 

22. He buys you tampons. Without flinching!

23. You can use the toilet while he's in the shower. It's not like he doesn't do it, too.

24. You don’t go to bed at the same time anymore.

25. You eat separately unless it’s date night.

26. He knows what a text that just reads "Pizza" means, and yeah, he got your favorite toppings. 

27. If he doesn’t text you all day it’s no prob, he's just busy.

28. You have a designated sex towel. It lives in the bedside drawer, and it has a nickname.

29. It’s not weird when his parents call you.

30. Even if you’re not married, his nieces and nephews call you their aunt. And it warms your heart every single time.

 

 

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This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com.

 

 


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