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My Apartment Has A Lot Of Turnoffs (Part 2)

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My Apartment Has A Lot Of Turnoffs (Part 2)

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Here are the rest of my apartment cock-blocks (defined in previous post):

 

My Two Gargantuan Mutant Cats

 

This is the one that I think all my friends will agree is my biggest cock block.  I adopted two cats years back and they’ve moved from apartment to apartment with me.  I’m not one to give away animals or break commitments to defenseless things, so they will continue to live with me.  However, they are huge.  The white one is shy and never poses a problem.  However, Dusty, the super fat tabby, loves/hates people.  He is at the front door as soon as he hears it unlocking, so you have to shoo him away as you enter the apartment.  He’s also used to sleeping in my room so, when I kick him out if I have a girl over, he scratches at the bedroom door.  Not sure how many of you have heard the sound of cat claws scratching a wooden painted door, but it really is not the most romantic soundtrack to make out to.  If a girl is comfortable enough to let him in, he’ll climb on the bed and then on us.  I can remember specific times, mid-kiss, looking up and seeing his husky shadow triumphantly standing on her back.  Cat toys are one thing, but their scratching post is a ghastly shredded thing that sits by my window—and never goes un noticed by a girl.  I also felt guilty one day because I didn’t think they had anough to do so I hung this wire toy for them off my wall.  A girl who looked in on the cats when I was out of town said:

 

You have to get rid of that contraption on the wall of your bedroom.

 

When I don’t have anyone else to stay with me, the cats sleep in my bed and shed.  I wash the sheets and covers as much as I can but it’s just not enough.  I try to suggest to girls to get into shirts and shorts, but either way it’s always awkward.  In the morning, girls find themselves covered with cat hair.  Perhaps I should start testing how “clingy” girls’ clothes are when I’m out and just eliminate them that way. Oh, and Dusty likes to bite and scratch too.

Dusty 

 

My Sunflower Seed Spittoon

 

One of my favorite snacks is David Sunflower seeds.  Nothing like cracking open that salty goodness.  I love eating them while relaxing and watching TV in bed.  I have a little plastic canister on my night table where I spit the hulls and eventually empty them into the trashcan.  If I didn’t happen to empty it the night I bring a girl home, all I can do is warn her up front.

 

Sunflowers

 

Clothing Mounds

 

I still do it:  just throw my clothes into a pile all week when I get home from work because I have no time for anything.  I usually do wash on the weekend—maybe during the week if I’m lucky.  If I have dirty mounds of laundry on the ground, hopefully I’ve shoved them all somewhere before a girl comes home—but, if I haven’t, I just have to hope she doesn’t get creeped out by the pile of clothes by my closet.

 

Looking over this list it’s clear what I have to do.  Maybe I should always assume the possibility of a girl coming over.  It will force me to maintain my apartment cock blocks.  That way, I won’t be nervous to bring a girl back and have to get through all the cock blocking booby traps in my apartment.  But, it’s just so easy to be lazy sometimes.

 

So what horrible things have you encountered at guy’s places that have ruined the mood:  ex-girlfriend paraphernalia, pictures of mom next to his bed?  And which of these things about my apartment do you think are the worst?  Do you agree with my solution, or do you have other ideas?

 

 

 

 

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