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The Fine Art of The Cock Block

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The Fine Art of The Cock Block

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It's hard enough to seal the deal without interference from outside forces. Men have invented a slang term in honor of these mood-killing outside forces: the cock block.

Cock blocking is opposite of the work that a good solid wing man does. A wing man will make you look good, and create an environment conducive for sealing the deal. A cock block ruins things — and usually it ruins things abruptly.

Here are some that I’ve experienced:

My Mom
Moms are the original cock blockers. It's a shame because moms have such potential as wing women. A cute mom can make her boy look sweet, and bond with a girlfriend.

But, sometimes she's just too "mom." It all starts in middle school when you're first hitting on girls, and you don't realize mom's in the car waiting to pick you up. While executing these fledgling attempts at flirting, my mother would get fed up and scream: "Get your butt in this car right now!"

I felt rather emasculated by my mother — and it still happens today. I'll be talking with my mom and she'll say: "Remember how you used to collect stamps" in front of a girl.

Please, mom, let me try to be a cool man.

My Cat
I live in a studio apartment now, so there's no stopping my cat from his cock blocking ways. It never fails: As soon as I get intimate with a girl, he jumps on the bed and literally climbs across her and slides in between us — that pretty much ends things.

The Drunk, Ignorant Friend
The night I found out what a cock block was, I approached two friends who were talking to a girl, blurted out something vulgar, and then walked away. Later on my friend approached me and asked why I had to "cock block" him. It was at that moment that I realized I was the prototypical drunk, ignorant cock-blocking friend.

The Overprotective Girlfriend
Most women have a girlfriend who won't  let them go home with guys. The overprotective girlfriend swoops in and removes her friend from the guy, usually with a quip: "She has a boyfriend," or "You have no chance." The overprotective girlfriend insists on being part of the conversation the whole time so you can't work your magic on her friend.

Myself
Another classic cock blocker is yours truly. I always manage to say or do something stupid and ruin a good thing.

Ultimately, successful couples overcome cock blocks. I guess if you're really into a guy it doesn't matter how obnoxious his drunk, ignorant friend is, or how fat his interfering cat is.

Have you ever seen cock-blocking in action? Can women do it to other women? What's the worst cock-blocking you've seen, and have you ever resisted a bunch of cock blocks to date a guy?

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