There is a fundamental difference in how girls will judge another girl versus how a guy will judge another girl.
When I say a girl is hot, I'm talking only about her appearance. Girls will dismiss a girl's hotness for these sorts of reasons:
- I don't like her bag
- Her shoes are annoying
- I'm not in a good mood today so everyone is ugly
- She looks like she works out too much
- She doesn't work out enough
- I know her and she's crazy
- I knew her in high school and she was too competitive
Girls get mad when a hot girl is doing something they want to do. For example, my older sister wishes she was a sideline sports reporter. I'm always saying how hot ESPN's Erin Andrews is and my sister will say: "Ugh I hate her".
I can understand where you guys are coming from. I think it's acceptable for you guys to say that Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page is hot because I love his work and he's awesome. But if you say Papa Roach's guitarist is hot, then that's annoying to me because Papa Roach sucks. Perhaps my sister thinks Erin Andrews lacks talent, or that she could do a better job on the sideline.
But the point is, ladies, when a guy is talking about "hot" or "cute" it is purely based on appearance. We are not taking into account what they do for a living or even their sanity.
If a girl has a great personality, it's not "hot" or "cute". It means she's a "cool" girl to us. If she's doing something interesting for a living, we think it's "awesome" or "cool".
I think I know what's going on here. Perhaps it's just difficult for us to judge the same sex based only on appearance. When I step back and look at whether I agree or disagree with a girl who says a guy is hot, I realize that I too am injecting personality or other aspects about that guy into my judgment.
There are certain people that are so beautiful that we can indeed judge them just on appearance. Maybe Angelina Jolie or Greta Garbo. Brad Pitt, or young Sean Connery.
But when they are not strikingly and universally beautiful, and we are asked to judge the same sex, we tend to look at it as: "what could that person do for me?" Could they be a friend? Do I love their music? Are they a charismatic leader?
I've trained a few girls to judge girls like a guy would. My friend Margaret and my sister know the drill. We play a game walking down the street and they'll try to pick out a girl I think is hot. The key is that they no longer even consider their own opinion. They now say:
"I think you'd think that girl is hot."
So, they are taking their personal judgment out of the equation. That's the key in judging hotness on behalf of another. It is not what you think is hot, it is what you think they will think is hot. And that's a tough thing to do. Basically, only very close knit friends or family can make those sorts of judgments. All other discussion of hotness will continue to suffer that translation problem:
Girls judging other girls will try to inject personality traits to see how the girl in question will fit in their life and vice versa.
It's important that you try to use the judgment tactic of "you would think this girl is hot" when you are setting someone up. If you are just discussing things, then you should always rely on your own opinion, even if you're taking other aspects of the person in question into account.
Do you find that girls you think are "hot" differ from what your guy friends think are hot? Is it impossible to understand your guy friends' taste in women? How do you judge beauty in other women?