Recently, at a wedding, I witnessed a dance floor with a friend who is an ecologist. In the middle of this dance floor, a girl approached a guy, legs slightly spread, while slapping her thighs with the back of her hands while looking him in the eye.
You dont have to emulate an Animal Planet mating documentary to get a guy to approach you when youre out, but body language is important. You have to give a guy an opening, and make yourself available.
I want my approach to appear to be well-timed, and I dont like it when I feel like Im interrupting. Sometimes the situation lends itself to an approach: theres something extraordinary to talk about, or we just bump into each other. Pay attention to your actions when youre out. If you want guys to approach you, are you making it easy on them are you available?
Some girls might want the guy to work as part of the approach, but for every one of you who makes it tough for a guy to approach, there are women who make it easier to approach that a guy might go for instead.
Here are a few things women do that prevent guys from approaching them:
Lots of Friends
When girls are in a group, I know that Im going to be evaluated as soon as I walk away. Its tough enough to walk up to one girl, let alone a group.
If shes super-hot, sometimes I assume I have no chance or Im just plain intimidated. Most guys will give it the old college try though. This, by the way, is the best reason for your ego why guys aren't approaching: "I'm just so hot I'm intimidating."
Dancing on Tables (aka Super-Drunk Girl)
One night, we were out and a girl intermittently stood up on the seat of her booth and did stripper-type dances. The guys in the bar looked, but never approached. Its tough to approach a whirling dervish and no one could take her seriously. And sometimes the "too drunk" girl gets approached by guys who are interested in one thing only.
I dont usually approach girls who dont look stylish and put together. Now, if you want to keep guys away from you, doing the celeb in public homeless look might be a good strategy.
Smiling and eye contact is inviting, while anger, and looking like youre too good for everyone, drives people away. Try to give off positive vibes, and more people will approach.
With a Guy in Any Capacity
You appear to be taken if you arrive with guys, or meet guys while youre out. Guys have no way of knowing if youre with a guy. Some guys might ask, but some might just move on to someone who looks more available.
Now Ill admit that Im clueless, even for a guy. Im not sure about the wedding ring/engagement rules: which hand/finger gets the ring? I know one has a big diamond, and one looks like a simple ring. But unmarried women wear all sorts of rings. Your ring that looks like a wedding ring might be keeping guys away (or maybe stupid guys like me, which is probably a good thing).
DO NOT DISTURB
Its easier to approach a girl who looks bored, like she wants someone to talk to. In a café, if shes reading a book, or has her face in her laptop, I assume shes busy and doesnt want to deal with my stupid pick-up attempt. In a bar, if she seems content doing whatever shes doing, I wont want to interrupt.
Tough to Catch
Ive devised strategic plans to make a move, waiting for a girl to go to the bar, or bathroom. But when she finally gets up she walks too fast, or takes bodyguards (tons of friends) with her. Bottom line, some women just dont give that opening physically for the approach. Remember, your migratory patterns might be exactly what that guy is waiting for, so be on the lookout when youre on the move.
If youre in the corner all night, or buried behind chairs and tables, you not only cut yourself off from the rest of the world, but some guys dont want to slalom obstacles to get to you. If you want guys to approach you, you might want to move or try out some other spots.
Do you agree with my list above? What actions do you think deter guys from approaching you? What actions make a guy tough to approach?
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